Aug. 18, 2026

S4 E56 - 'Hit the SPOTlight' with Quinn Creator Julien Kahn

S4 E56 - 'Hit the SPOTlight' with Quinn Creator Julien Kahn
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Season 4

This week on QuinnCast, we’re joined by the phenomenal Quinn Creator Julien Kahn! Knowing Julien’s love of hockey, we obviously had to put him to the test with a game all about this beloved sport. Julien came ready to chat, and this one took us everywhere: creativity, tattoos, Shakespeare, recording locations, erotic audio, and so much more.

🔥 IN THIS EPISODE

  • Put Julien’s love of hockey put to the test with ‘Ice Ice Maybe’
  • Where Julien likes to record, and why it isn’t always in the booth
  • Talk about creativity and whether Julien is the same creative that he was before audio erotica
  • Discuss some of the perceptions that come with this career
  • It’s tattoo chat time! We discuss all things tattoos
  • Listener questions, which include amazing questions about Shakespeare, comfort movies, and soundscapes
💬 THE BIG TAKEAWAY
Creativity, growth, and figuring out what you want can take time. Sometimes, you just need to get out there, experience things, and maybe get a tattoo while you’re at it.

[Gelatenous L*bia] [Pun Counter] [Hockey] [Improv] [Puritanical] [The Apple Test] [Miyazaki] [More Juice] [PEMDAS] [Miriam Webster]

🎙 WHO’S TALKING
Hosts: Kazza, Jules, and Smudge
Guest: Julien Kahn

🫶 Thank You to Our Sponsor: What Beti Made
Big love to Beti for creating amazing stickers. Beti also offers custom sticker designs, so you can bring your own ideas to life. And yes, there is an entire QuinnCast Podcast collection
Website

💌 STAY CLOSE
Follow us so you don’t miss the good stuff:
Website: QuinnCast.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/quinncastpodcast/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@quinncast

⭐️ IF THIS EPISODE DID SOMETHING FOR YOU
  • Subscribe.
  • Leave a review.
  • Or send it to a friend with zero explanation and a raised eyebrow. 🌶️
WEBVTT

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Hey, this is CASA, this is yours, and this is

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much and you're listening to quin Cast, where we have

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chats about audio erotica and empowerment through desire.

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And we take you behind the scenes with the pros

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shaping the industry settle in.

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Things are about to get spicy and uncensored. Hello, ladies,

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I've just been dangling me clapper with an apple from

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a gino.

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I should have said this is a rated X podcast.

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Apparently, what the fuck are you talking about?

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Don't you know? Oh my god, have you live you

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live in under a rock? Have you've never been to

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an ice hockey game?

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I actually have a rivalry.

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Rivalry, that's about it.

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Well, does that mean I just said that I hit

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a powerful shop deceiving an opponent with a fancy stick handling,

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and the shot hit the bottom of the crossbar, bounced

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off the net and scored a goal.

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That's what you said. I had no idea you were

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a hockey fan.

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I've been to one game, but in my defense, it

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was in America, thank you very much. It was in

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that there Chicago. Oh, and I went and watched some

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ice hockey team that I can't remember whom it did really.

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Do you know what I found really fun about it?

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There's a blimp and it flies overhead and it drops

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T shirts on you. What do Yeah? Inside inside the

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ice hockey thing built.

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Like a drone. It's like a dron.

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It's like it's like a baby. Yeah, it's not like

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a full size.

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I'm like, is an orpan air hockey ring?

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It is?

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It is a baby blimp and it flies around and

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everyone just stands up and goes me me, me, drops

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T shirts and are busing things on people. But can

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I just say the warm up for a nice hockey match? Oh?

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I've seen the videos now, those I've seen he always

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set them to music too, Like.

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God damn. I mean there may or may not be

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half of my camera roll on that.

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Do you think I our guest today will be doing

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any warm ups?

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Oh? Yeah?

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Well, I wonder why I was talking so much ship

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about hockey. Why am I talking so much shit about hockey?

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I think it's because we are talking to someone today

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for Hit the Spotlight who is a huge hockey fan.

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And who are we talking to today.

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Kaza, We're talking to Julian Carr.

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That hockey or baseball, I don't know who cares.

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It's all of them cheering. The blimp is tharring T

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shirts were good and we're good.

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The lovely Julian car Julian. Do you know anything about Julian?

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We actually do so. Julian Kahan has been bringing stories

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to life on Quinn since twenty twenty four, racking up

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work as a performer, director and voice actor along the way.

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And in just under two years he's closing in on

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one million plays, which is a huge, huge testament to

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the range and intensity he brings every to every single

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role he steps into the booth floor.

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Off Mike, you'll find him rink side, I said, rink

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not rim, rink side for a hockey game, tracking down

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the best art house and foreign films, or hunting out

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his next favorite meal.

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So cliticians join us in welcome and Julian carn Hello, Hello,

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how are you?

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I'm good?

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Are you well?

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It's nice to meet you, Julian.

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Yes, long last for all about and forth, it's I've

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gotten better. I've gotten better with my being online hygiene.

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But then, of course, in the run up to this,

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I'm like, it's on my paper calendar, it's on my

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digital calendar. And then like I've just not been on

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social media for a couple of days. I get like,

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oh great, yes, of course they have an intake for

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him that you didn't look at until today.

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Okay, we made one up for you, Julian, So it

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was it's fine.

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We just you know, bio with your Yeah.

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I would, I'm curious.

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Oh it just it just says Julian Khan is a

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massive cunt.

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Perfect perfect. It's not true, just an enormous pro fruiting,

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sort of gelatinous laby. Yet just I get that all

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the time. Actually I got that.

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There.

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Can I get you, ladies anything.

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You seated? Yeah?

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Oh wow? In direct?

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That was well, I see you've switched into the dom

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I love.

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I know. I love how I was going to be

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like Tito's and soda would be great. Thanks, Like you

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sit the fuck up.

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You guys are not on the same page, and that's

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exactly how I want you.

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Right, Julian, Welcome to the quinc Cass Studio. What we

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like to do if you've already heard any of our episodes,

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we like to play a little game just to warm

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our guests up and us. Although I don't need warming

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up because it is another one hundred degree day here

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in the UK. So we've had a little bit of

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a look around that would tintinet about who you are,

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and we came up with the one thing that you

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are renowned for, which is for being a big fucking

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hockey fan. Right, So we're going to play a game.

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I'm going to tell you what it is and how

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to play it, and then you're going to give us

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your consent to play.

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Okay, the game, You're going to demand.

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Your demanding. It's for the only time in my life

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that you will ever see me domin anyone ever. Unless

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I'm being paid, I will die. I am available at weekends.

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So the game is called Ice Ice Maybe Ice Ice,

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Maybe Ice Maybe.

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We have a pun counter available we do that we

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can put on screen.

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No what, I have a counter on my phone I

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can do.

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Thank you.

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I did have five titles for this game, and I

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put it out to the ladies and we chose Ice Ice.

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Maybe if you could work in the other four sometime

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in the next however long we speak, Okay, I will,

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I will. I will donate a fifty quid to a

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charity of your choice.

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I love how you say fifty covered a code switch

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that's about six thousand dollars.

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You know that, right, But tomorrow it'll only be five

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thousand dollars.

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Yeah, but you said it on the current exchange rate.

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So sorry.

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You know what, I lived in London for a year

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and I used to I used to pay my rent.

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I used to wait because I paid it quarterly. I

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was in student accommodations and so I only had to pay.

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I would wait until you don't even know. I would

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wait until the exchange was the most favorable, and then

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I would pay it and I'd probably say probably one thousand,

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couple thousand dollars doing it that way. Wow. But then again,

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I lived in London in twenty twelve, so I shipped

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a couple thousand dollars. Yeah.

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Well, because you've dodged the tax. Just to let you know,

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I will talk on behalf of the king. You're not

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invited back, thank you.

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Okay, Well, you're welcome for not contributing to Boris Johnson's government.

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Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right, Yon Donald Trump. So anyway,

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what the game is, We're going to read out some

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phrases and you have to decide whether they're one a

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real ice hockey term, two a real audio erotica term

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or three totally fucking made up?

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This is good, sorry, Julian.

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Kahan, Yeah, do we have your consent?

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You have my consent?

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Oh, excellent. Okay, So the first one rimmed it deep.

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I'm gonna let the audience come up with there as

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everyone decided.

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Is it a hockey term? Is it audio erotica or

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is it totally made up?

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Your honor, That is a hockey term.

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Could you explain to the cliticians what it means?

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So, clitori, when you rim it deep, what you're doing

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is on a zone entry. So if you're the attacking team,

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the edges of the ice where there is a little

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step board, the yellow bit, you want to slam the

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puck against the rim and rim it around, not unlike

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in the bedroom, so that it pops up on the

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other side, so that the way that the defense is

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set up, they have to then shift over to what's

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called the weak side, and thus you've opened up space.

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You's all about creating space. It's it's a game of

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angles again, not unlike ANALINGUS.

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Hockey just got way more interesting.

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It is a hockey term.

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Correct, you are correct?

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Break time check? Do you think you're gonna stop me

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on any of these.

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Yes, yes, I don't think, so, okay, continue all right,

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next one, dipping just.

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The tip.

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Now that I would, I would, I would qualify that

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as an audio erotica term.

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It is actually made up, yep, but the action, yes,

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but it's close to a hockey term. So the actual

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hockey term.

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Is tip in, a tip in.

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Yes, do you know what a tip in is? Could

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you explain that to us?

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Yes, a tip in is unlike rimming it hard. A

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tip in is just a little, a little, a little fluff,

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a little lift into the end, because it's all about

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it's in this broader category of zone entries. So you

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want to enter the zone, there's many different ways to

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enter the zone. Again, not unlike, not unlike, not unlike

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acts of human intimacy. It's almost as if sport is

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a giant metaphor for acts of human intimacy in ways

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ways that we've organized ourselves so that it's okay for

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let's say, a group of ten men covered in pads

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just to smash up against each other in ways that

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give them a sense of meaning and wholeness.

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Yes, I like that.

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I need I need to go to more hockey games.

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Quinn cast trip Let's go.

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Yeah, did you think while you were designing this game

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that we were just going to deconstruct the boundaries between

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all of the categories.

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Do you know how many hockey commentaries I had to

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listen to even come up with the amount of questions

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in this game? I have never heard so many men

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say rimming and tipping and the things that we are

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just about to come onto. I can't give it away

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because you know so anyway, it's a bit of puck fiction.

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Mm hmmmmmm.

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Anyway, right, are we ready for the next one? Nice tits?

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Thank you? Is there a question? Nice tits? If this

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were a bird watching podcast, I would say that would

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be a term that you'd use professionally. This doesn't have

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a hockey application unless we're talking about the professional women's

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hockey league and we're chirping each other.

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I know what chirpig is as well.

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So that could be a thing. But I'm gonna go

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ahead and say, nice tits is a made up term?

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Correct?

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I thought I would thought I was going to throw

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you with that because the actual hockey term is top titty.

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Yeah, it's top titty. Please explain so top top, followed

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by sort of anything like with a hyphen. It is

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a way to describe a goal that goes in the

232
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upper part of the goal. So it's like top cookies,

233
00:12:59.000 --> 00:13:05.440
top titty, where mama hides the peanut butter. There's all

234
00:13:05.480 --> 00:13:06.679
sorts of creative ways.

235
00:13:07.120 --> 00:13:10.600
All right, fucker, it's uh, stuffed.

236
00:13:10.159 --> 00:13:16.159
It in, stuffed it in that this you could be

237
00:13:16.159 --> 00:13:17.600
trying to get me with a trick question. That is

238
00:13:17.639 --> 00:13:18.440
a hockey.

239
00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:29.519
Term, and yeah, hell yeah.

240
00:13:29.440 --> 00:13:30.759
But to be fair, if you've got a stuff in,

241
00:13:30.840 --> 00:13:32.639
it's a softy, isn't it's not really worth it.

242
00:13:32.919 --> 00:13:36.240
We call that a greasy goal. Yeah, it's a greasy goal.

243
00:13:36.759 --> 00:13:39.360
So if you're stuffing it in, that's because you're hanging

244
00:13:39.399 --> 00:13:42.120
out in the crease, you're getting bumped around. It's prime

245
00:13:42.200 --> 00:13:44.039
real estate right in front of the goalie. It's called

246
00:13:44.039 --> 00:13:47.159
the crease, and you got to work to be there

247
00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:50.120
because you're going to get like the biggest guys or

248
00:13:50.159 --> 00:13:53.639
girls on their team are just gonna fucking pound you,

249
00:13:54.200 --> 00:13:58.960
not in the fun way, just for being in, and

250
00:13:59.000 --> 00:14:01.559
the referees won't do anything about it because you're standing

251
00:14:01.559 --> 00:14:03.360
and it's like it's kind of like, well, you shouldn't

252
00:14:03.360 --> 00:14:05.759
be there. It's not sexy, it's not pretty, it doesn't

253
00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:09.080
look good. But people, your teammates really appreciate you forgetting

254
00:14:09.080 --> 00:14:10.840
those greasy goals for stuff.

255
00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:11.559
Sounds good.

256
00:14:12.120 --> 00:14:14.440
Wo And it sounds like the ref just stands out

257
00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:16.519
and watches. So he's a bit of a cook, right

258
00:14:17.320 --> 00:14:20.080
pretty much? Okay, ref's the cook? Got it?

259
00:14:21.039 --> 00:14:23.200
All right? All right, we're going to pass the cock,

260
00:14:23.240 --> 00:14:25.440
I mean pass the puck to me, and that one

261
00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:30.200
for you will be jerk off jerk off.

262
00:14:31.919 --> 00:14:35.080
Wow. So I've definitely called some other jerk off on

263
00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:35.320
the air.

264
00:14:35.639 --> 00:14:37.000
The way I said it was like I was name

265
00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:39.440
calling you. Uh.

266
00:14:39.559 --> 00:14:45.759
Okay, next question, you're a jerk off jerk off? Uh,

267
00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:48.720
let's see. Would that qualify as an audio erotica term?

268
00:14:48.759 --> 00:14:51.159
I mean, like a ramble would be more of like

269
00:14:51.200 --> 00:14:52.080
a jerk off.

270
00:14:53.840 --> 00:14:57.159
We're gonna get it? Yes, okay, it got it, audio erotica.

271
00:14:57.759 --> 00:14:58.440
Got it?

272
00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:04.759
Little salt that what do I win when I win? This?

273
00:15:04.879 --> 00:15:06.679
Nice respect?

274
00:15:09.159 --> 00:15:10.720
That that's worth it?

275
00:15:11.759 --> 00:15:15.440
There the first time for everything? Right, that's right.

276
00:15:19.039 --> 00:15:21.600
The next one is poke check?

277
00:15:22.440 --> 00:15:30.840
Poke check? Poke check is uh resolutely a hockey term. Yeah,

278
00:15:31.399 --> 00:15:32.480
kind of is what it sounds like.

279
00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:35.200
God yeah. It says, reaching out with the stick, bade

280
00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:36.840
to jump the puck away from the attacker.

281
00:15:38.840 --> 00:15:43.320
Okay, where oh yeah, grinder.

282
00:15:46.039 --> 00:15:48.600
You get me again, You get me again. A grinder

283
00:15:48.679 --> 00:15:54.519
is a hockey term.

284
00:15:52.159 --> 00:15:52.799
Which is.

285
00:15:54.279 --> 00:15:58.240
It's kind of a derivation of the enforcer. Enforcer is

286
00:15:58.279 --> 00:16:00.120
sort of a retired term. It used to be a

287
00:16:00.159 --> 00:16:04.720
lot more popular in the nineties where the professional like

288
00:16:04.759 --> 00:16:07.919
the highest level of professional hockey, the NHL, the Olympics,

289
00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:12.120
now the PWHL as well, please go watch and support,

290
00:16:13.679 --> 00:16:17.039
they would include an enforcer and a grinder. And these

291
00:16:17.080 --> 00:16:21.759
are lower skill players, but they do essential roles for

292
00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:25.360
the team that the high skill players probably don't want

293
00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:27.559
to do or that are dangerous for the high skill

294
00:16:27.639 --> 00:16:30.320
players to do. So a grinder is going to get

295
00:16:30.360 --> 00:16:34.039
you ideally greasy goals. A grinder is going to absolutely

296
00:16:34.200 --> 00:16:38.000
wind up the opposing team's best player, just be so

297
00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:41.039
fucking annoying that it makes them play worse.

298
00:16:42.000 --> 00:16:44.120
Wow, you got it, next one.

299
00:16:45.080 --> 00:16:51.639
Reach around A reach around. You know, I'm trying to think.

300
00:16:51.639 --> 00:16:53.600
I feel like I've had a question about that in

301
00:16:53.639 --> 00:16:56.720
general because it sounds so literal. You know, it's a

302
00:16:56.759 --> 00:17:01.200
sexual term. Mm hmm, Yes, I don't know. I feel

303
00:17:01.240 --> 00:17:05.440
like i've. I've It's not a hockey term, a reach around.

304
00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:07.160
No, he's not.

305
00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:09.839
You got it. You're right, Yes it isn't. Yes, it

306
00:17:09.880 --> 00:17:11.240
is an audiorotic.

307
00:17:10.839 --> 00:17:11.880
A wrap around.

308
00:17:12.240 --> 00:17:17.039
There we go, there we christ damn it. Oh my god,

309
00:17:17.160 --> 00:17:19.000
all right, Julian, and you're really good, because yeah, you

310
00:17:19.039 --> 00:17:22.559
literally have reach around audio erotica. Wrap around is the

311
00:17:22.599 --> 00:17:23.519
hockey term.

312
00:17:24.920 --> 00:17:27.400
To it? Do you realize you you shared me on

313
00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:29.599
the document? I have it open?

314
00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:31.640
Oh did we do?

315
00:17:31.640 --> 00:17:31.839
You know?

316
00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:35.880
You? And you almost explained grinder exactly as we've written

317
00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:39.319
it down. And I looked at and went, did he

318
00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:40.920
get the sheep? Did he?

319
00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:41.200
Did?

320
00:17:41.240 --> 00:17:41.720
He? Though?

321
00:17:42.480 --> 00:17:48.000
I don't spend absolute minutes putting this together, sweated, blood

322
00:17:48.039 --> 00:17:49.440
and seconds.

323
00:17:49.519 --> 00:17:50.720
Minutes, whole minute.

324
00:17:51.000 --> 00:17:51.759
Blood and sex.

325
00:17:51.920 --> 00:17:54.839
Jesus, I did. I shared this, but fortunately he didn't

326
00:17:54.839 --> 00:17:56.279
look at it until five minutes.

327
00:17:56.400 --> 00:18:00.599
The inep we're just talk in a hockey.

328
00:18:03.119 --> 00:18:04.680
I would wear that on a T shirt. F y,

329
00:18:04.759 --> 00:18:07.599
I keep your lady, keep.

330
00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:10.119
Your put it in the merch file, jewels.

331
00:18:11.079 --> 00:18:13.519
I'm already put in my notes that big good all right.

332
00:18:13.559 --> 00:18:19.759
Two more to go, mister Labia, getting good wood.

333
00:18:20.880 --> 00:18:23.039
Oh when you get good wood on it that's that's

334
00:18:23.079 --> 00:18:26.480
a hockey term. Getting good wood on it means you

335
00:18:26.519 --> 00:18:29.920
made great contact, you kind of you got all of it.

336
00:18:30.599 --> 00:18:31.759
Okay, finally.

337
00:18:33.039 --> 00:18:34.000
You'd be happy to hear.

338
00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:36.279
I don't know. I think you're liking all the hockey

339
00:18:36.279 --> 00:18:36.680
talk though.

340
00:18:37.720 --> 00:18:40.680
He's getting them all, which is great. Now you didn't

341
00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:42.920
We do like to set our guests up for success. Well,

342
00:18:43.000 --> 00:18:43.920
Smudge doesn't.

343
00:18:44.839 --> 00:18:46.680
Brave of you to challenge me in this realm.

344
00:18:46.720 --> 00:18:49.960
I like this though, Yeah, I like a good challenge.

345
00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:55.359
I will say that we blame Loki, who let us

346
00:18:55.440 --> 00:18:59.839
know what your she we should have gone with one

347
00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:05.319
of the other things because she said art house, films, foodie,

348
00:19:05.680 --> 00:19:09.680
and hockey. So Loki, we tried, Man, we tried.

349
00:19:10.440 --> 00:19:13.559
I don't know what. Yeah, there's something you probably could

350
00:19:13.559 --> 00:19:15.359
have gotten me on in that realm. I have. The

351
00:19:15.400 --> 00:19:17.480
problem is I have so many I have like such

352
00:19:17.519 --> 00:19:20.440
an ad D galaxy brain of interests, but you know,

353
00:19:20.519 --> 00:19:23.599
some of them are further out in my like solar

354
00:19:23.640 --> 00:19:27.319
system of interests, and they themselves like art house, cinema.

355
00:19:27.359 --> 00:19:29.160
There's just so much of it that like, I can't

356
00:19:29.200 --> 00:19:32.519
be across all of it, whereas hockey I'm pretty much

357
00:19:32.680 --> 00:19:33.160
all over it.

358
00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:36.839
I'm officially giving up doing the games now. Fuck it.

359
00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:39.720
Well for them to feel good, Yeah, these are these

360
00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:41.759
are gimme so we did it on purpose. This is great.

361
00:19:41.799 --> 00:19:43.920
I really appreciate it. I feel great good.

362
00:19:45.240 --> 00:19:48.599
The final one, yep, wet.

363
00:19:48.640 --> 00:20:02.720
Hole, wet hole? M what wet hole? What hole? Met?

364
00:20:02.720 --> 00:20:15.279
Welsh a wet hole? Oh? I mean it sounds made up.

365
00:20:16.279 --> 00:20:19.359
I know it's used in audio erotica. It's not a

366
00:20:19.400 --> 00:20:21.319
hockey term that I'm aware of. And you might have

367
00:20:21.359 --> 00:20:23.279
gotten me with this one. This could be a gotcha.

368
00:20:24.920 --> 00:20:27.640
It is a hockey term, okay, I.

369
00:20:27.599 --> 00:20:38.599
Except I accept fucking bosters.

370
00:20:40.119 --> 00:20:41.680
It couldn't be anything else, ready, couldn't.

371
00:20:41.720 --> 00:20:44.519
Can you imagine, like the commentary, oh my god in

372
00:20:44.559 --> 00:20:45.200
the wet hole.

373
00:20:45.400 --> 00:20:46.200
Oh, it'd be.

374
00:20:46.160 --> 00:20:48.160
Censored all over the place over here, I tell you

375
00:20:48.599 --> 00:20:52.559
there are within like so I play, I play hockey,

376
00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:55.839
and are I live in southern goddamn California, and so

377
00:20:56.640 --> 00:20:59.079
we're often like you're playing in the summertime, you're fighting

378
00:20:59.160 --> 00:21:02.839
the the hvac abilities to keep the ice cool.

379
00:21:02.640 --> 00:21:06.759
So you will get some wet patches. You get wet spot,

380
00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:08.960
wet patches on the ice.

381
00:21:10.599 --> 00:21:12.839
Do you find that you just drop down and laying it.

382
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:14.880
But it's not quite a wet hole. Well, it depends

383
00:21:14.920 --> 00:21:15.839
on how thirsty I am.

384
00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:19.440
Oh, okay, fair of course, because he grabbed a drink.

385
00:21:20.440 --> 00:21:23.880
Within that whole game, we also added somehow did four

386
00:21:23.960 --> 00:21:27.759
other hockey terms and puns, so we are up to six.

387
00:21:28.200 --> 00:21:32.480
So that's oh, I'll tell you what, guys, Our cliticians

388
00:21:32.519 --> 00:21:35.720
are always up for a good old game. That's right

389
00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:39.119
as all cliticians are exactly if they are still here

390
00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:41.480
after all that hockey talk, we can now go into

391
00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:47.640
and dive into the questions. Yeah, I mean wake like, oh.

392
00:21:47.559 --> 00:21:48.559
Is it hockey or hockey?

393
00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:48.720
Like?

394
00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:54.440
Okay, let's know, a good job.

395
00:21:55.599 --> 00:21:58.160
I feel we've digressed. I don't know why.

396
00:21:58.799 --> 00:22:02.440
When did you turn into Marry Webster? Merriam Webster.

397
00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:05.599
It's a dictionary snudgie.

398
00:22:05.599 --> 00:22:08.680
It's a dictionary from the Webster dictionar Are we using

399
00:22:08.759 --> 00:22:09.480
Oxford English?

400
00:22:09.559 --> 00:22:13.440
Thank you, Miriam Webster. I should do it. I want

401
00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:16.079
to do an audio with Merriam Webster.

402
00:22:18.200 --> 00:22:20.039
Oh my god, you could be like, oh, yeah, give

403
00:22:20.039 --> 00:22:22.240
me that Oxford comma, because I will never give up

404
00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:23.000
my Oxford comma.

405
00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:28.559
And and and give me that and and and is.

406
00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:34.000
What she's going to say, God, yes, I can't believe

407
00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:36.480
you change my name. You absolute cun't.

408
00:22:37.799 --> 00:22:41.440
I got the power if anyone has their given name

409
00:22:41.519 --> 00:22:43.519
by the end of this podcast, I considered a failure

410
00:22:43.559 --> 00:22:46.319
and I do not give you permission to release it.

411
00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:49.279
Right. So, first off, because we've just got to ask it,

412
00:22:49.319 --> 00:22:51.039
because it's one of those things we just have to ask.

413
00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:54.200
Stop laughing, Yetta, So.

414
00:22:55.599 --> 00:22:58.279
How did you get into audio erotica acting? It may

415
00:22:58.279 --> 00:23:03.240
be the only audio erotic question we asking, probably not.

416
00:23:05.119 --> 00:23:09.519
Yeah, I won't hold you to account on that I

417
00:23:09.599 --> 00:23:13.480
got into it because it actually as far back as

418
00:23:13.519 --> 00:23:17.680
twenty seventeen. I I had moved to la in twenty fifteen,

419
00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:22.279
and I started acting in like twenty fourteen. I really

420
00:23:22.359 --> 00:23:23.799
wasn't a twinkle in my eye. I was doing other

421
00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:25.599
things for the earlier part of my life. So I

422
00:23:25.640 --> 00:23:28.640
was early twenties when I started acting. And then I

423
00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:32.960
got injured snowboarding and I just looked at it. My

424
00:23:32.960 --> 00:23:36.759
shoulder pretty badly needed to get surgery, so I couldn't act.

425
00:23:36.799 --> 00:23:39.000
I was doing like commercial and stage acting at that time,

426
00:23:39.079 --> 00:23:41.039
and I couldn't work in the restaurant I was working in.

427
00:23:41.119 --> 00:23:44.079
And I had a friend who did voice acting, and

428
00:23:44.200 --> 00:23:47.480
so I asked him, how does one get into that,

429
00:23:47.559 --> 00:23:50.599
thinking like, it's not that fucking hard. It's like acting

430
00:23:50.599 --> 00:23:56.839
about your body. It's like half acting. Yeah right, And

431
00:23:57.160 --> 00:23:59.440
he said, well, you're an idiot and you don't know

432
00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:02.559
anything experience, So why don't you start on a c X,

433
00:24:03.079 --> 00:24:06.319
the free audiobook platform and see who'll hire you? And

434
00:24:06.400 --> 00:24:10.160
of course who would hire a young, dumb twenty four

435
00:24:10.200 --> 00:24:15.680
year old full Come is a romance novelist. So I

436
00:24:15.759 --> 00:24:20.480
did My very first voice job was narrating a romance novel.

437
00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:23.319
There was a modern retelling of Beauty and the Beasts,

438
00:24:23.599 --> 00:24:27.720
which I will never tell you how to find. And

439
00:24:27.799 --> 00:24:31.559
so that that was my first dapple, my first dipping

440
00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:32.839
of the wick, my first women.

441
00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:37.319
And I feel we're going to go back to that

442
00:24:37.400 --> 00:24:38.839
a lot keeping.

443
00:24:40.359 --> 00:24:44.039
Oh god, I hope someone freeze frames where it just

444
00:24:44.039 --> 00:24:45.640
says one plus one plus one plus one.

445
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:48.519
Crack.

446
00:24:49.400 --> 00:24:51.839
Really, we're really cracking some codes here.

447
00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:54.359
I'm really nervous to suck it up.

448
00:24:54.920 --> 00:24:56.480
I would be so stressed about clear that thing. I

449
00:24:56.519 --> 00:24:57.720
would do a pencil and Dan too.

450
00:24:57.839 --> 00:25:01.559
I'm like, freaking yeah, move a da Vinci. We've got jewels.

451
00:25:02.119 --> 00:25:03.640
This is like the imitation game over.

452
00:25:03.519 --> 00:25:07.680
Here, cliticians, I'm keeping track on my calculator app about

453
00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:09.440
how many times we make any sort of puns. So

454
00:25:09.640 --> 00:25:10.359
that's what I'm doing.

455
00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:13.200
Okay. So Jewels, maybe you need to be like Ellen

456
00:25:13.279 --> 00:25:17.759
touring may. Maybe you have a mathematical a mathematical.

457
00:25:17.279 --> 00:25:21.359
Thingmat oh I will I think maybe you're Yeah, it

458
00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:24.480
is being kind because hey, I did teach math and

459
00:25:24.519 --> 00:25:26.319
only taught them pemdas the whole year untill they put

460
00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:27.720
me back to English. But yes, I love it.

461
00:25:27.720 --> 00:25:30.640
Hey, pemas. Okay, maybe you're pemdas.

462
00:25:31.000 --> 00:25:33.400
That's a good one too, all right, I can do pemdas.

463
00:25:33.559 --> 00:25:37.440
Yeah, this is fun. Okay. So audio rootica, so yeah,

464
00:25:37.440 --> 00:25:41.960
I didn't do anything anything. Well, let's see, I worked

465
00:25:41.960 --> 00:25:44.559
for Dipsy very briefly because I had a friend of

466
00:25:44.599 --> 00:25:49.279
mine from UNI who reached out to me who was

467
00:25:49.319 --> 00:25:52.759
directing for them, and like it was mildly inappropriate for

468
00:25:52.799 --> 00:25:54.720
them to do that because we didn't know each other

469
00:25:54.759 --> 00:25:56.960
like that, and I didn't do any audio rotica. So

470
00:25:57.000 --> 00:26:00.240
I worked briefly with Dipsy and then they kind fell

471
00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:01.640
off the face of the earth and I let them

472
00:26:01.839 --> 00:26:04.599
because I was doing other stuff. And then in twenty

473
00:26:04.640 --> 00:26:09.279
twenty three, as my life was sort of like smoldering

474
00:26:09.319 --> 00:26:15.920
in the burning shrapnel of an exploded relationship, I got

475
00:26:15.960 --> 00:26:21.640
an email from Caroline asking if I would be interested

476
00:26:21.720 --> 00:26:25.960
in submitting an audition for Quinn. And I didn't know

477
00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:31.200
Quinn from Eve and I just thought, sure, I guess wow,

478
00:26:31.319 --> 00:26:35.240
so she reached out to you spec I don't know

479
00:26:35.279 --> 00:26:37.519
how to this day, I asked, I asked her, when

480
00:26:37.559 --> 00:26:40.480
I did the Creators on Creators last year, how did

481
00:26:40.519 --> 00:26:43.559
you you know? Like I don't have you know, they

482
00:26:43.640 --> 00:26:45.279
must have really been scraping in the bottom of the barrel,

483
00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:47.640
because now they just go look for get like famous

484
00:26:47.640 --> 00:26:50.799
TikTok people, the Fader.

485
00:26:50.519 --> 00:26:52.200
And CEO of Quinn cliticians.

486
00:26:52.359 --> 00:26:54.799
If you don't know, Quinn was my first Quinn was

487
00:26:54.839 --> 00:26:59.279
my my first real and even then, as if people

488
00:26:59.279 --> 00:27:02.960
have been listening to me for like since I started

489
00:27:03.000 --> 00:27:06.359
on Quinn, I didn't really understand or realize like what

490
00:27:06.440 --> 00:27:08.599
was going on with book talk and audio erotica in

491
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:10.880
the whole space. I didn't realize what kind of communities

492
00:27:11.680 --> 00:27:14.759
existed within and around it, and so I thought I

493
00:27:14.799 --> 00:27:16.160
was just kind of shouting in at the void, and

494
00:27:16.200 --> 00:27:19.279
I was very irregular about, you know, making work and posting.

495
00:27:19.319 --> 00:27:20.720
You know, it was kind of catches catch can for

496
00:27:20.759 --> 00:27:23.079
me for a little while. And then once I realized

497
00:27:23.119 --> 00:27:28.759
that people listen like actively and deeply to this stuff,

498
00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:31.279
and I made the connection with like, oh, well, What've

499
00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:34.359
I been wanting for so long? I've been like cavetching

500
00:27:34.359 --> 00:27:37.640
and moaning about how you know, in this town and entertainment,

501
00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:40.799
nobody's willing to you know, I hate being an actor.

502
00:27:40.960 --> 00:27:44.960
I hate like I could because I love acting as

503
00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:47.359
like a craft and as a vernacular and as a

504
00:27:47.359 --> 00:27:50.480
way of like understanding. And I've always been interested in

505
00:27:50.480 --> 00:27:53.519
like psychology and philosophy and human behavior and all these things.

506
00:27:53.559 --> 00:27:55.519
And here was this thing that I came to like

507
00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:58.440
later in my life that was like a point of

508
00:27:58.440 --> 00:28:00.519
connection for all of these things. And it was a

509
00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:02.759
way to like embody it and physicalize it and most

510
00:28:02.759 --> 00:28:04.960
importantly share it with people. So it wasn't all just

511
00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:08.160
like up here. But being an actor in this town,

512
00:28:08.240 --> 00:28:11.000
you're like, it's a it's a an industry of gatekeepers.

513
00:28:11.039 --> 00:28:12.960
So you're waiting for somebody to give you a job,

514
00:28:13.000 --> 00:28:14.839
You're waiting for somebody to write you a script. You're

515
00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:17.640
waiting for somebody to like blah blah blah blah blah.

516
00:28:17.720 --> 00:28:21.480
So that sucks. And here I was, now with the

517
00:28:21.480 --> 00:28:26.200
opportunity to write my own stuff have essentially directors caught

518
00:28:26.240 --> 00:28:29.400
on whatever I wanted to do at the pace that

519
00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:31.480
I wanted to do it, and I get to perform it,

520
00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:35.920
and a light bulb went on and I was like, oh, yeah, no,

521
00:28:36.039 --> 00:28:37.799
this is it, and here we are.

522
00:28:38.519 --> 00:28:43.079
Had you never heard about uh, like ever heard about

523
00:28:43.079 --> 00:28:47.039
audiootica before? Quickly I heard it a little bit more,

524
00:28:47.480 --> 00:28:47.720
you know.

525
00:28:47.759 --> 00:28:54.440
A little bit I had before dipsy. I'm trying to

526
00:28:55.119 --> 00:28:58.079
rack my brain, I don't think so. My first exposure

527
00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:06.559
to like erotica of any kind was literrotica. Yea, literotica.

528
00:29:07.079 --> 00:29:10.799
It just was like the seed crystal from my horny

529
00:29:10.839 --> 00:29:13.960
little brain as a as like a ten year old,

530
00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:16.920
and I like, I learned so much, and that was

531
00:29:16.920 --> 00:29:21.480
my preferred mode of like engaging with sexuality on the

532
00:29:21.519 --> 00:29:25.799
Internet and sensuality and like exploring my own and learning.

533
00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:28.240
And you know, again I was quite young, so it

534
00:29:28.279 --> 00:29:30.359
was not like a time when I could go explore

535
00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:33.880
that with people. Really yeah, yeah, so yeah, that was

536
00:29:33.920 --> 00:29:36.079
my first exposure to it, and I think that there's

537
00:29:36.079 --> 00:29:40.720
a pretty at least compared to like you know, the

538
00:29:40.799 --> 00:29:45.119
more popular or like mainstream forms of like video porn,

539
00:29:45.279 --> 00:29:48.240
like pornhub stuff, like, there's much more of a connection,

540
00:29:48.400 --> 00:29:51.400
more shared DNA between like the literrotica stuff and the

541
00:29:51.440 --> 00:29:52.440
audio ratica stuff.

542
00:29:52.440 --> 00:29:57.079
So yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you have a bit

543
00:29:57.119 --> 00:30:02.039
in a bit of a phobia though of booth. I

544
00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:03.839
really record an awful lot in them.

545
00:30:04.680 --> 00:30:09.880
I don't really record an awful lot in booths. I'm

546
00:30:09.920 --> 00:30:12.240
not really out of a phobia. I built my own

547
00:30:12.279 --> 00:30:19.319
booth back in the day. But I like the freedom

548
00:30:19.319 --> 00:30:21.519
of being able to move around. I like being able

549
00:30:21.559 --> 00:30:23.880
to be in an environment. So I have sort of

550
00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:28.200
like I'm not completely done creating this for myself, but

551
00:30:28.279 --> 00:30:30.519
I had dreamed a few years ago of having like

552
00:30:30.599 --> 00:30:35.480
a room in my living space where everything is plug

553
00:30:35.519 --> 00:30:37.880
and play. Like I'm the kind of add where if

554
00:30:37.880 --> 00:30:41.720
there's any barrier or friction to like having a thought

555
00:30:41.759 --> 00:30:44.279
and then executing the thought, it's not going to happen,

556
00:30:44.440 --> 00:30:46.680
or it's going to just like you know, get put

557
00:30:46.720 --> 00:30:48.880
in turnaround for a long time. So I have a

558
00:30:48.920 --> 00:30:51.960
situation where I just have to flip a switch and

559
00:30:52.279 --> 00:30:56.480
like my microphone works and my keyboard for playing music,

560
00:30:56.680 --> 00:31:00.000
my guitars, my projector right here so I can watch

561
00:31:00.039 --> 00:31:03.680
movie like it's all just plug and play, super easy, nice,

562
00:31:04.079 --> 00:31:06.880
and it's sound treated enough, although I would like to

563
00:31:06.960 --> 00:31:09.960
continue to do that. Sound treatment is very expensive in

564
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:13.440
a room this size, but yeah, that's that's how I

565
00:31:13.519 --> 00:31:16.000
like to do it. And I have a field recording setup,

566
00:31:16.119 --> 00:31:17.720
which I think I've talked about before, so sorry if

567
00:31:17.720 --> 00:31:22.440
I'm repeating myself, but I love recording things in like

568
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:25.720
out in spaces in the world and getting like whether

569
00:31:25.759 --> 00:31:29.319
it's soundscape stuff or you know, recording audios at the

570
00:31:29.359 --> 00:31:32.359
pool or in my car or whatever, and kind of

571
00:31:32.400 --> 00:31:34.920
blending those in with stuff that I will then ad

572
00:31:35.079 --> 00:31:37.200
r you know, with the booth or whatever. I like

573
00:31:37.240 --> 00:31:39.839
to make it. It feels very immersive when I hear

574
00:31:39.839 --> 00:31:41.119
people do that, so I like to do it that.

575
00:31:42.599 --> 00:31:45.079
Yeah, it's super it's super immersive the way you do it.

576
00:31:45.079 --> 00:31:47.240
And I because I wondered, like I was under the

577
00:31:47.279 --> 00:31:50.599
impression that Quinn was so strict with their sounds and

578
00:31:50.599 --> 00:31:53.880
there you know, how it's produced, and because when I

579
00:31:53.920 --> 00:31:56.400
listen to your audios it does sound like you maybe

580
00:31:56.440 --> 00:31:58.319
just like out your living room recording on your phone

581
00:31:58.400 --> 00:32:01.880
and in the best way, so it really does feel

582
00:32:01.880 --> 00:32:06.519
like a real conversation are much more immersive. But so

583
00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:08.599
they're just kind of cool to let you have like

584
00:32:09.279 --> 00:32:10.880
a siren outside or whatever.

585
00:32:11.680 --> 00:32:14.240
Pretty much. I mean, I select those like those that's

586
00:32:14.279 --> 00:32:17.559
not what my place sounds like. Like I'm getting soundscapes

587
00:32:17.640 --> 00:32:20.960
from from New York, I'm getting them from Chicago, I'm

588
00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:24.279
getting them from like archives that are available to make

589
00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:29.319
it feel different and like texturally relevant to whatever the

590
00:32:29.359 --> 00:32:31.599
audio that I'm like the feeling that I'm trying to create,

591
00:32:31.720 --> 00:32:34.160
you know, because for me, it's it's different if you're

592
00:32:34.319 --> 00:32:37.079
if you're in a room, like I could perfectly isolate

593
00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:39.839
my voice if I wanted to. I do that for

594
00:32:40.039 --> 00:32:42.680
you know, jobs in different contexts. But like you're saying,

595
00:32:42.759 --> 00:32:45.680
like if you're there's just these little things that to

596
00:32:45.759 --> 00:32:49.400
me like add up to immersion where like if I'm

597
00:32:49.440 --> 00:32:51.559
not hearing if I'm speaking right now and I'm not

598
00:32:51.599 --> 00:32:53.519
hearing my voice echoing in the room a little bit,

599
00:32:53.680 --> 00:32:59.440
it feels like uncanny slightly, you know, and and things

600
00:32:59.480 --> 00:33:01.759
like that, and way that sounds layer and the way

601
00:33:01.799 --> 00:33:06.279
that like you know, rain hitting a window that's outside

602
00:33:06.359 --> 00:33:08.640
or rain falling outside is different than rain falling on

603
00:33:08.680 --> 00:33:11.039
a tent or on a canopy of trees if you're

604
00:33:11.119 --> 00:33:14.240
if you're outside, So like how to do that stuff

605
00:33:14.319 --> 00:33:18.200
and make it feel like there's no place where you're

606
00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:21.160
gonna bump as the listener that's like, oh, I'm doing

607
00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:25.480
a little bit of work for like immersion here, like

608
00:33:25.559 --> 00:33:28.000
I'm having to stretch a little bit. I'm trying to

609
00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:30.400
make it so that you don't have to stretch really

610
00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:35.559
at all. And Quinn seems to be like they're the

611
00:33:35.559 --> 00:33:37.720
their review team. I don't know how they get as

612
00:33:37.799 --> 00:33:40.400
much work done as they do, Like they must have

613
00:33:40.599 --> 00:33:44.200
so much work to do, but they've they've been very

614
00:33:45.119 --> 00:33:50.279
understanding and generous with my sort of like process and visions.

615
00:33:49.960 --> 00:33:52.000
For how I like it to sound.

616
00:33:52.200 --> 00:33:55.000
So yeah, yeah, I mean you really nailed because like

617
00:33:55.039 --> 00:33:56.799
as I listen, I'm like, I don't I don't didn't

618
00:33:56.799 --> 00:33:59.960
know how to describe like how your sounds so different.

619
00:34:00.240 --> 00:34:02.720
And the word texture covers it, like there's texture to

620
00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:07.279
or audios that when it's crisp and clean and you

621
00:34:07.319 --> 00:34:10.079
know it's just not there, like the layers in the

622
00:34:10.119 --> 00:34:14.039
texture they're still great, Like it's just different, and so yeah,

623
00:34:14.480 --> 00:34:15.360
it's a very different feel.

624
00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:18.119
And I love people's voices, you know, like I'm a

625
00:34:18.239 --> 00:34:22.320
huge I love vocalists in all regards, and and so

626
00:34:22.400 --> 00:34:24.880
there is something that you know, when I listen to

627
00:34:24.920 --> 00:34:28.800
an audio where the voice is isolated and it's like

628
00:34:28.840 --> 00:34:31.400
there's a noise floor that's kind of smashed all of

629
00:34:31.440 --> 00:34:33.440
the ambient noise and there's not a ton of room

630
00:34:33.519 --> 00:34:36.599
tone and it's just that voice and the texture of

631
00:34:36.599 --> 00:34:38.840
the boy, Like there's something hypnotic about that. I think

632
00:34:38.880 --> 00:34:42.159
that's cool too, you know, yea, but it is a

633
00:34:42.239 --> 00:34:45.559
different for me. It's a little bit different, and I

634
00:34:45.679 --> 00:34:49.880
frankly am slightly uncomfortable with taking up that amount of

635
00:34:49.880 --> 00:34:53.559
space in the mix, you know, like as I still

636
00:34:53.559 --> 00:34:55.800
have that actor brain where I'm like I'm a part

637
00:34:55.920 --> 00:34:59.679
of something. I'm like instrumental to the story being told,

638
00:34:59.719 --> 00:35:01.800
but I I am not the story, Like I'm not

639
00:35:01.920 --> 00:35:04.920
the point. So I like to be in service to

640
00:35:05.039 --> 00:35:08.840
something like creating an experience. I don't need to be

641
00:35:09.280 --> 00:35:11.719
seen as the experience.

642
00:35:13.119 --> 00:35:15.719
And it also sounds like you're, you know, your ideas

643
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:19.679
enhanced what you're producing massively.

644
00:35:20.880 --> 00:35:24.519
I think, so yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean like I

645
00:35:24.519 --> 00:35:28.400
think everyone's it's it's like kind of trite and pat

646
00:35:28.440 --> 00:35:32.039
to say, but you know, the the sort of like

647
00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:34.679
whatever your narrow, atypical ship, like, the things that you

648
00:35:34.719 --> 00:35:38.079
struggle with are also they're part and parcel of your

649
00:35:38.199 --> 00:35:41.039
unique strengths, you know. So the things that you're just

650
00:35:41.079 --> 00:35:43.079
bumping your head against over and over again, you know,

651
00:35:43.119 --> 00:35:46.599
it may feel very specific to you and maybe you know,

652
00:35:46.639 --> 00:35:49.920
we find community to certain levels with you know, things

653
00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:51.880
that we struggle with that other people do too, but

654
00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:55.719
like especially those things almost feel like like you're being

655
00:35:55.719 --> 00:35:58.159
called out by the universe, you know, and it's like, fuck,

656
00:35:58.239 --> 00:36:00.960
why do I? But like those are the things where

657
00:36:00.960 --> 00:36:04.280
if you can sort of like develop a relationship to

658
00:36:04.320 --> 00:36:06.360
it and find a way to like make some peace

659
00:36:06.400 --> 00:36:08.800
with it and incorporate it back into your life. And

660
00:36:08.840 --> 00:36:10.480
as an artist, I get to do that. That's what

661
00:36:10.519 --> 00:36:11.960
I love so much about doing the quin work because

662
00:36:11.960 --> 00:36:15.039
I do that every fucking week. Yeah right, And sometimes

663
00:36:15.039 --> 00:36:18.119
that's exhausting and like oppressive thing and other times, but

664
00:36:18.280 --> 00:36:20.480
like I so much rather have it this way than

665
00:36:20.480 --> 00:36:24.840
any other way, because that that you the perspective that

666
00:36:24.880 --> 00:36:28.760
you develop and that it requires to navigate that is

667
00:36:29.400 --> 00:36:32.920
what is useful to other people. Yeah, like you are

668
00:36:33.320 --> 00:36:36.079
the world's expert on that specific thing.

669
00:36:37.039 --> 00:36:39.800
So and I was the same. So when you edit,

670
00:36:39.960 --> 00:36:41.880
because you put such time into it in the immersion,

671
00:36:41.920 --> 00:36:44.079
does it take you a lot longer to edit? Are

672
00:36:44.079 --> 00:36:46.639
you like hard on yourself when it comes to your editing?

673
00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:49.559
And Merriam Webster, where you directing that question to Pendos?

674
00:36:49.639 --> 00:36:50.400
I'm sorry or me?

675
00:36:52.119 --> 00:36:56.280
First off, you can all fuck off, right Jesus God,

676
00:36:57.559 --> 00:36:59.599
and my lack of edge imoication here.

677
00:37:01.679 --> 00:37:07.440
With a delicious centering. Yeah, its you know what takes.

678
00:37:08.280 --> 00:37:12.840
That's a good question. It depends, like what There's a

679
00:37:12.880 --> 00:37:18.119
couple of things that make editing really challenging. One is

680
00:37:18.280 --> 00:37:21.800
if I don't have a super clear idea of this

681
00:37:22.639 --> 00:37:26.360
story and how I want it to flow. So I

682
00:37:26.400 --> 00:37:30.840
always have an idea of when I because I improvise everything,

683
00:37:31.360 --> 00:37:33.920
I always have an idea of, like what dynamic am

684
00:37:33.960 --> 00:37:37.920
I trying to explore? What is the like the basic

685
00:37:37.960 --> 00:37:40.880
beats of you know, where it does the encounter take

686
00:37:40.920 --> 00:37:44.639
place initially? Where does the intimacy start to happen?

687
00:37:44.719 --> 00:37:44.920
You know?

688
00:37:45.119 --> 00:37:48.039
But I don't prescribe how it's going to start to happen. Necessarily,

689
00:37:48.079 --> 00:37:50.039
I may have an idea of like, oh, here's a

690
00:37:51.079 --> 00:37:54.599
trope or an act or something that I haven't explored,

691
00:37:54.679 --> 00:37:58.159
and let's see if there's a space for that. More

692
00:37:58.239 --> 00:38:01.880
often than not, that makes it relatively easy to edit.

693
00:38:02.079 --> 00:38:07.280
Sometimes though I have to fight for clarity with myself,

694
00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:09.400
like it'll come out a little muddy, or there's too

695
00:38:09.400 --> 00:38:13.679
many ideas happening at once, and from a narrative standpoint,

696
00:38:13.760 --> 00:38:19.280
that's not helpful. It's like like glop. So those I

697
00:38:19.400 --> 00:38:22.239
have to create in the edit with like what I have,

698
00:38:22.440 --> 00:38:24.639
and that can take a long time to sort of

699
00:38:24.679 --> 00:38:28.400
sift through and be like like does this piece suck

700
00:38:28.559 --> 00:38:30.679
or does it just need to be here? You know?

701
00:38:31.840 --> 00:38:34.719
That can take a while. And then like you know,

702
00:38:34.880 --> 00:38:38.559
with the Alta California series, for instance, there's so much

703
00:38:39.159 --> 00:38:42.039
of like I see that series and the way that

704
00:38:42.079 --> 00:38:45.320
Mave and I write it is like a television show.

705
00:38:46.119 --> 00:38:52.880
And so to communicate place, to communicate environment, time, tone,

706
00:38:53.440 --> 00:38:56.519
all of that I have to do with sound design.

707
00:38:58.199 --> 00:39:01.559
That is way more work than like a slice of

708
00:39:01.599 --> 00:39:05.159
life audio in which like you know, someone's coming over

709
00:39:05.199 --> 00:39:07.840
for lunch, or even like the one I did it,

710
00:39:07.920 --> 00:39:11.760
like the in the Space Station like ye that actually

711
00:39:11.880 --> 00:39:16.800
was quite easy to sound design because like the elements

712
00:39:16.840 --> 00:39:20.079
were really clear, Like there's just a constant hum of

713
00:39:20.119 --> 00:39:22.599
being in space, you know, like the machinery of the

714
00:39:22.599 --> 00:39:26.320
space station, and then that's kind of it, you know.

715
00:39:26.960 --> 00:39:29.079
So there's a couple of things that can make it

716
00:39:29.119 --> 00:39:33.239
easier or harder, But generally speaking, it's like, as with

717
00:39:33.400 --> 00:39:36.920
kind of everything, if I have clarity of vision, it's

718
00:39:36.960 --> 00:39:39.559
not that bad. Sometimes it's tedious because there's a ton

719
00:39:39.559 --> 00:39:41.119
of elements to it, but it's.

720
00:39:40.960 --> 00:39:41.480
Not that bad.

721
00:39:41.880 --> 00:39:46.360
If I'm not clear, that's then I have to get clear,

722
00:39:46.519 --> 00:39:47.679
which can be a process.

723
00:39:48.119 --> 00:39:50.760
So the editing is what actually creates the story. If

724
00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:53.599
it's not clear, it's yes, how you put the puzzle

725
00:39:53.639 --> 00:39:55.199
together creates exactly.

726
00:39:55.440 --> 00:40:00.360
Yeah. When I was learning like filmmaking, I something that

727
00:40:00.360 --> 00:40:02.559
people like to say is the story is told three times.

728
00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:05.280
It's told when you write it, it's told when you

729
00:40:05.320 --> 00:40:08.559
shoot it, and it's told when you edit it. And

730
00:40:08.599 --> 00:40:12.159
that is true in AE just as it is on film.

731
00:40:12.159 --> 00:40:13.639
It's as you have. You know, you don't have that

732
00:40:13.760 --> 00:40:16.079
visual element necessarily that he can lean on.

733
00:40:16.239 --> 00:40:19.199
So did you always know that you were going to,

734
00:40:19.840 --> 00:40:22.280
you know, improv everything from the start, or did you

735
00:40:22.360 --> 00:40:24.760
try a script and then when actually that doesn't.

736
00:40:24.480 --> 00:40:31.679
Feel right, I I improvised my audition audios and I

737
00:40:31.719 --> 00:40:35.360
got great feedback from Quinn. I mean the Yoga Means Union.

738
00:40:35.400 --> 00:40:40.239
My first audio was my audition, all right, and that

739
00:40:40.440 --> 00:40:44.039
was received quite well and it felt you know, it's

740
00:40:44.039 --> 00:40:46.559
so interesting how that happens. And you know, I think

741
00:40:46.840 --> 00:40:49.039
all of us who have tried to make stuff in

742
00:40:49.159 --> 00:40:52.079
any sort of form, the way that we come to

743
00:40:52.159 --> 00:40:55.960
our workflow is so like kind of mysterious to me.

744
00:40:56.199 --> 00:41:00.360
You know, like I've read a bazillion books about like

745
00:41:00.400 --> 00:41:04.119
filmmaking and storytelling and mythology, and I listen to screenwriting

746
00:41:04.159 --> 00:41:07.760
podcasts and like, and yet I don't write down what

747
00:41:07.880 --> 00:41:10.199
I do. So how did I decide to do that?

748
00:41:10.440 --> 00:41:12.639
I don't know. It just started. It worked for me,

749
00:41:12.719 --> 00:41:14.159
and you know what I've found And I was going

750
00:41:14.199 --> 00:41:16.719
to add on to that, pemdus to the previous question,

751
00:41:17.519 --> 00:41:24.000
is that I when I do scripts, I find myself

752
00:41:24.159 --> 00:41:31.840
editing way more because it's like this, because the lines

753
00:41:31.880 --> 00:41:34.480
are written, it's like they're they're fixed, and I want

754
00:41:34.519 --> 00:41:36.480
to whether I write it or someone else writes it,

755
00:41:37.400 --> 00:41:40.360
there's like, oh, well, let me try it that way like, oh,

756
00:41:40.440 --> 00:41:43.119
let me okay, that's interesting. What if this was happening

757
00:41:43.159 --> 00:41:45.719
and then that involves this tone and then I have

758
00:41:45.800 --> 00:41:47.360
this image, so like what if I hold this image

759
00:41:47.360 --> 00:41:48.920
in my head and what if it's this kind of relationship?

760
00:41:48.960 --> 00:41:52.199
So what if I change? And that kind of like

761
00:41:53.039 --> 00:41:57.719
I often end up recording a sequence of dialogue like

762
00:41:58.119 --> 00:42:03.079
eight times, and so creates a nightmare of an edit,

763
00:42:03.119 --> 00:42:05.760
because I mean you have to like, Okay, which one

764
00:42:05.800 --> 00:42:07.719
do I like the mouse? Or is it the one

765
00:42:07.719 --> 00:42:09.480
that serves the story the most? Or is that the

766
00:42:09.480 --> 00:42:12.000
one I'm being the most vain about blah blah blah

767
00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:15.440
blah blah. So yeah, that's that is one reason that

768
00:42:15.599 --> 00:42:22.320
scripts I struggle with. Yeah, and there was one There

769
00:42:22.360 --> 00:42:24.840
was one alta that I wrote to within an inch

770
00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:28.239
of its life, and I loved the way it was

771
00:42:28.320 --> 00:42:29.920
as a piece of writing, and then when I went

772
00:42:29.920 --> 00:42:32.719
to record it, it was just dead, like it didn't

773
00:42:32.800 --> 00:42:37.119
have it. It's like it's like I'm telling you how

774
00:42:37.119 --> 00:42:39.159
to feel instead of feeling it myself.

775
00:42:40.639 --> 00:42:41.000
And so.

776
00:42:42.519 --> 00:42:44.639
It's something with and I'll shut up in two seconds,

777
00:42:44.719 --> 00:42:47.480
I promise. It's something with voice acting in particular as well,

778
00:42:47.559 --> 00:42:51.199
where it's easier when you have a partner on stage

779
00:42:51.400 --> 00:42:55.159
or on a set where I'm physically in front of you,

780
00:42:55.159 --> 00:42:57.760
you're physically in front of me, and we're working with

781
00:42:57.880 --> 00:43:00.440
like the space between us, and we're throwing a little

782
00:43:00.440 --> 00:43:04.599
ball between us, and it's easy to be yeah, like

783
00:43:04.599 --> 00:43:07.320
like sort of the work. And that is like being

784
00:43:07.679 --> 00:43:11.239
receptive and being generous with your partner. When it's you

785
00:43:11.559 --> 00:43:16.800
in a microphone, you have to create that other person

786
00:43:17.199 --> 00:43:19.599
and be throwing the ball to them, and then as

787
00:43:19.639 --> 00:43:21.880
the other person, you're throwing the ball back to you.

788
00:43:22.559 --> 00:43:26.159
It's really I can't do it. There are people I

789
00:43:26.159 --> 00:43:31.880
think who can do it wonderfully. I lose the plots quickly,

790
00:43:32.280 --> 00:43:35.400
like I get vain, I get like all the things

791
00:43:35.400 --> 00:43:38.440
that I don't like about actors, like the way in

792
00:43:38.480 --> 00:43:39.960
which you can be like, oh I want to be

793
00:43:40.440 --> 00:43:44.119
you know, I'm peacockying or I'm you know, executing an idea.

794
00:43:44.440 --> 00:43:47.679
You know, it's not alive, and what's alive is listening.

795
00:43:48.119 --> 00:43:51.480
And so when I'm improvising, I'm listening. You know, it's

796
00:43:51.480 --> 00:43:54.800
a shortcut to like be in that space of listening.

797
00:43:54.880 --> 00:43:57.119
So that's why I do it really more than anything else.

798
00:43:57.239 --> 00:43:59.920
So it's almost like when you're I mean, I feel like,

799
00:44:00.280 --> 00:44:03.159
you know, I write, and I feel like, as you know,

800
00:44:03.239 --> 00:44:04.840
creating any kind of art, it's like you have to

801
00:44:04.960 --> 00:44:09.639
let yourself be the vessel through which it's channeled instead

802
00:44:09.639 --> 00:44:13.800
of trying to like perform it right because then because

803
00:44:13.800 --> 00:44:16.639
that's all in your head, whereas when you're channeling the art,

804
00:44:16.679 --> 00:44:18.280
it's through.

805
00:44:18.039 --> 00:44:21.199
You exactly, you know. And even that's where like doing

806
00:44:21.239 --> 00:44:24.800
other people's scripts is easier than doing my own because

807
00:44:25.159 --> 00:44:28.840
there's something about like the distance y where I didn't

808
00:44:28.880 --> 00:44:31.840
write it, and so I can sort of be actively

809
00:44:31.880 --> 00:44:34.360
engaged in the question of like, well, what did you

810
00:44:34.400 --> 00:44:36.199
feel when you were writing this? Like what is this?

811
00:44:36.320 --> 00:44:40.039
This is interesting? You know, Whereas when it's me, I

812
00:44:40.079 --> 00:44:43.320
write my part and I write the listener part completely,

813
00:44:43.880 --> 00:44:46.960
like as if it's a television script, you know, and

814
00:44:47.039 --> 00:44:49.480
so it's just a little bit like cut and dry.

815
00:44:49.519 --> 00:44:53.800
It's a little bit like what's the thing I'm looking for?

816
00:44:54.360 --> 00:44:57.760
It's the way that like, you know, biologists used to

817
00:44:57.760 --> 00:45:00.639
study plants by like cutting them in half and like

818
00:45:00.840 --> 00:45:03.400
drying them out and pasting them against something, and they're like, look,

819
00:45:03.400 --> 00:45:06.280
that's how that works. It's not alive anymore. So if

820
00:45:06.320 --> 00:45:10.199
you want to like see how it works. Great, it's mechanistic,

821
00:45:10.280 --> 00:45:13.599
but it's not living anymore. Yeah, so it's two different things.

822
00:45:14.039 --> 00:45:17.119
So how does that play out when you're doing it

823
00:45:17.159 --> 00:45:19.719
for a living and you have to deliver by certain

824
00:45:19.760 --> 00:45:23.119
time scales? How does it work getting yourself into that moment?

825
00:45:23.159 --> 00:45:26.159
Because from what you're saying, that feels like a fucking

826
00:45:26.159 --> 00:45:27.119
impossible task.

827
00:45:28.239 --> 00:45:32.480
Well, it's been. That's another one of the sort of

828
00:45:32.519 --> 00:45:35.079
like meta narratives that I feel like as in terms

829
00:45:35.079 --> 00:45:37.840
of my own growth as a person who makes things

830
00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:41.159
and as an artist if you want to use that term.

831
00:45:41.599 --> 00:45:41.960
We do.

832
00:45:42.519 --> 00:45:45.679
We do, Yeah, I do too, But sometimes I get

833
00:45:45.719 --> 00:45:51.039
weird about it. It's it's you know, creativity doesn't happen

834
00:45:51.639 --> 00:45:54.960
like if you're waiting for inspiration to do something, you're fucked.

835
00:45:55.480 --> 00:45:58.320
And like, yeah, I've been fucked for large portions of

836
00:45:58.360 --> 00:46:03.119
my life as a creative person because I like I

837
00:46:03.320 --> 00:46:08.400
want to feel sort of like the romantic ideal of like,

838
00:46:08.519 --> 00:46:11.719
oh I need to I'm like surrendered to this like idea,

839
00:46:12.039 --> 00:46:14.679
Like there's this feeling that I have to get out

840
00:46:14.719 --> 00:46:16.840
and like, as you very aptly point out, you know,

841
00:46:17.119 --> 00:46:19.360
sometimes you wake up on a on a Sunday and

842
00:46:19.400 --> 00:46:23.000
you've got a Monday deadline, and it's like, well, I'm

843
00:46:23.119 --> 00:46:25.880
I got a like two groceries, like the dog needs

844
00:46:25.880 --> 00:46:28.079
to go to the fucking vet. Like, you know, there's

845
00:46:28.400 --> 00:46:30.559
I've got bills, I got emails I should probably response

846
00:46:30.599 --> 00:46:32.800
to I got to work, you know, blah blah blah

847
00:46:32.800 --> 00:46:34.719
blah blah blah blah. You know. And if you're waiting

848
00:46:34.719 --> 00:46:36.239
for that spark to be like, oh no, I need

849
00:46:36.280 --> 00:46:37.800
to go get in front of the microphone right now,

850
00:46:38.280 --> 00:46:38.920
you're fucked.

851
00:46:39.039 --> 00:46:40.719
Yeah.

852
00:46:40.800 --> 00:46:43.280
So it's that like I'm developed, and you know, it's

853
00:46:43.320 --> 00:46:45.360
not like I've got this all figured out, but I

854
00:46:45.400 --> 00:46:47.280
am much further along than it used to be where

855
00:46:48.079 --> 00:46:51.840
you just have to constantly be doing it. So like

856
00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:56.239
I'm I feel like I'm always working. I'm always in

857
00:46:56.519 --> 00:47:00.000
the sense that I'm engaged with this process of interest

858
00:47:00.639 --> 00:47:04.039
and this process of like interrogation of the world that

859
00:47:04.079 --> 00:47:08.079
I'm in and you know, trying to maintain an awareness

860
00:47:08.400 --> 00:47:11.599
of how am I feeling about things, what's going on

861
00:47:11.679 --> 00:47:14.119
with me in my life, what would I like to

862
00:47:14.239 --> 00:47:17.480
explore maybe, And so some weeks or some days it's

863
00:47:17.519 --> 00:47:20.800
a lot clearer, like oh, I'm going through a breakup

864
00:47:20.840 --> 00:47:24.880
and I would like to have a conversation with somebody

865
00:47:24.920 --> 00:47:28.559
who like represents the opposite characteristics of the person who

866
00:47:28.639 --> 00:47:31.760
just dumped me or whatever. You know, that's like, okay,

867
00:47:31.800 --> 00:47:35.639
well that's an easy prompt. Easy, it's clear. At least

868
00:47:36.320 --> 00:47:39.480
other times it's like I don't know, I feel sort

869
00:47:39.519 --> 00:47:42.960
of like sexless and lost, and it's like, okay, well

870
00:47:43.960 --> 00:47:46.840
what if that's something that we can explore in an audience.

871
00:47:46.840 --> 00:47:50.159
And then that becomes the creative challenge of like is

872
00:47:50.199 --> 00:47:53.440
it someone who's feeling that way? Is it the listener?

873
00:47:53.480 --> 00:47:53.880
Is it me?

874
00:47:54.320 --> 00:47:57.079
Can I sort of like be the person who i'd

875
00:47:57.119 --> 00:47:59.760
like to talk to about this? Is there like a

876
00:48:00.039 --> 00:48:04.599
healing experience or interaction or memory that I can h

877
00:48:04.960 --> 00:48:07.519
engage with? And so like, if you're waiting until the

878
00:48:07.599 --> 00:48:11.639
day that you have to record too to ask yourself

879
00:48:11.639 --> 00:48:15.920
those questions, they're not going to come because it's also

880
00:48:15.960 --> 00:48:19.119
that just like like the brain, the and the like

881
00:48:19.119 --> 00:48:22.280
the create like your own creative little selves that exist

882
00:48:22.360 --> 00:48:25.199
within you, like that they don't like being watched like that.

883
00:48:25.280 --> 00:48:30.800
They don't It doesn't work. It's not like yeah, so

884
00:48:31.159 --> 00:48:35.079
it's it's I really do It's easier for me and

885
00:48:35.119 --> 00:48:36.599
I think a lot of people that I've talked to

886
00:48:36.880 --> 00:48:39.960
that do you know, creative things for a living, Like

887
00:48:40.480 --> 00:48:42.559
you're just doing it all the time, and whether you're

888
00:48:42.599 --> 00:48:45.719
like recording it or not is sort of like depends

889
00:48:45.760 --> 00:48:48.719
on what your deadline schedule is. But like I am

890
00:48:49.039 --> 00:48:52.800
always engaged with that idea. Yeah, it's hard when you

891
00:48:52.800 --> 00:48:54.320
don't feel like it. It's really hard.

892
00:48:55.079 --> 00:48:59.639
Both inspiration and motivation I think come after action, whereas

893
00:48:59.639 --> 00:49:01.880
so many people wait for like I'm waiting to be

894
00:49:01.880 --> 00:49:04.480
inspired or I've just got to find that motivation. It's

895
00:49:04.519 --> 00:49:08.199
like move and move could just be like live life,

896
00:49:08.239 --> 00:49:10.000
like just go out, go for a walk, like go

897
00:49:10.039 --> 00:49:13.039
to the grocery store, take a shower, be in action,

898
00:49:13.559 --> 00:49:15.920
and an inspiration will find you.

899
00:49:16.800 --> 00:49:20.880
I had an acting teacher who I love. He was

900
00:49:20.920 --> 00:49:26.440
a genius. Is dick but a genius. He used to say,

901
00:49:26.519 --> 00:49:30.599
you can't think yourself into right action, but you can

902
00:49:30.719 --> 00:49:35.039
act yourself into right thinking. So you can't sit around

903
00:49:35.119 --> 00:49:40.119
and try to like idate your way into like oh

904
00:49:40.480 --> 00:49:42.320
I'll feel better now, or like this is the right

905
00:49:42.360 --> 00:49:46.920
thing to do. If you just move literally move your body.

906
00:49:47.039 --> 00:49:52.079
M Yeah, thoughts will come, but you can't really like

907
00:49:52.280 --> 00:49:55.559
it's this weird. It sounds simple, but it's I think

908
00:49:55.559 --> 00:49:59.400
it's just a product of like the human prefrontal cortex

909
00:49:59.519 --> 00:50:01.679
and like the way that we identify as like egoic

910
00:50:01.840 --> 00:50:05.119
creatures that like we think, we think so much, you know,

911
00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:09.599
lionized for it. And it's like, yeah, thinking also really

912
00:50:09.639 --> 00:50:11.199
fucking gets in the way a lot.

913
00:50:11.519 --> 00:50:13.800
Yeah, your head will always steer you wrong your.

914
00:50:15.320 --> 00:50:16.440
Yeah, you know exactly.

915
00:50:16.519 --> 00:50:18.719
We try to think our feelings all the time. You

916
00:50:18.760 --> 00:50:22.639
can't think your fucking feelings. It's like, I feel like ship.

917
00:50:22.760 --> 00:50:24.679
Let me figure out why so I can fix it.

918
00:50:24.679 --> 00:50:26.519
It's like, just feel it. You'll be on the other

919
00:50:26.559 --> 00:50:27.519
side of it so much faster.

920
00:50:29.119 --> 00:50:30.360
And that's what's hard.

921
00:50:31.480 --> 00:50:34.320
I always I always follow my first instinct. I follow

922
00:50:34.360 --> 00:50:37.840
my first instinct, but I don't follow my first thought.

923
00:50:37.920 --> 00:50:42.039
That's awesome, and you how did you develop that in

924
00:50:42.079 --> 00:50:42.559
your life?

925
00:50:43.320 --> 00:50:47.639
I work, I have a I have a very distinctive

926
00:50:48.159 --> 00:50:51.639
brain disorder. That means that I.

927
00:50:52.079 --> 00:50:58.079
You're British, British and all nailed it.

928
00:50:58.400 --> 00:51:02.159
I see things before I feel things. Is that simple.

929
00:51:02.880 --> 00:51:06.480
So I've learned to turn it round. So I follow

930
00:51:06.519 --> 00:51:10.880
my instincts straight off, and I think about my thoughts.

931
00:51:11.559 --> 00:51:13.719
That's really impressive. I mean that's I think what I'm

932
00:51:13.800 --> 00:51:16.840
I'm I I aspire to and that's kind of I

933
00:51:16.880 --> 00:51:20.400
think what I'm I when I just to clarify because

934
00:51:20.400 --> 00:51:23.000
I think sometimes I talk in abstractions, like if you

935
00:51:23.079 --> 00:51:26.320
can identify something that that you struggle with, like, oh,

936
00:51:26.360 --> 00:51:28.320
I think before, I feel I do that a lot.

937
00:51:28.320 --> 00:51:32.320
I distance myself. I intellectualize things as sort of a

938
00:51:32.360 --> 00:51:35.039
defense mechanism. I've done that since I was like really small,

939
00:51:35.480 --> 00:51:38.159
and so instead of being like, oh, this is my affliction,

940
00:51:38.800 --> 00:51:43.880
then that becomes like that's the roadmap to getting somewhere else.

941
00:51:44.079 --> 00:51:46.559
So you've made it very clear for yourself. It sounds like,

942
00:51:47.280 --> 00:51:48.800
you know, and this is something that I feel like

943
00:51:50.440 --> 00:51:53.719
I don't want to like flatten it in any way

944
00:51:53.760 --> 00:51:57.360
by including it into other conversations about about this, but

945
00:51:57.440 --> 00:52:01.440
like I when I read mythology or history, you know,

946
00:52:01.519 --> 00:52:03.719
and the way that other cultures have dealt with what

947
00:52:03.760 --> 00:52:07.079
we would now call like oh, being neuro atypical or

948
00:52:07.239 --> 00:52:10.639
having this type you know, it's like people, you know,

949
00:52:10.719 --> 00:52:15.400
autistic people, and like traditional cultures were sages, they were

950
00:52:15.480 --> 00:52:19.960
they have access to different information and it just there

951
00:52:20.360 --> 00:52:26.239
we reorganized our ways of storytelling and of community organization

952
00:52:26.440 --> 00:52:29.840
to like accommodate for that and not necessarily to use

953
00:52:29.880 --> 00:52:32.519
it in like the like how do I extract wealth

954
00:52:32.559 --> 00:52:35.599
from this? Sense? But like in like oh, well that's

955
00:52:35.599 --> 00:52:37.960
important and so you should have a way to be that.

956
00:52:38.559 --> 00:52:40.400
You know, that just makes sense.

957
00:52:40.599 --> 00:52:42.079
When you were talking about your passions and things. So

958
00:52:42.119 --> 00:52:44.280
if somebody followed you around for a week, I followed

959
00:52:44.280 --> 00:52:47.679
you around for a week, right, what part you it

960
00:52:47.760 --> 00:52:50.360
would be creepy? I mean technically would be on a register.

961
00:52:50.480 --> 00:52:52.079
But my dog does it every day.

962
00:52:53.119 --> 00:52:55.239
There you go, you can do theme music as you've

963
00:52:55.400 --> 00:52:56.360
kind of felt like you were.

964
00:52:56.280 --> 00:52:56.840
Calling me a dog.

965
00:52:56.920 --> 00:53:01.320
Then all women are dogs, who I don't believe.

966
00:53:01.360 --> 00:53:03.239
I've worn some collars in my time.

967
00:53:03.400 --> 00:53:08.360
Just saying at the at the Northampton Ice Center.

968
00:53:09.239 --> 00:53:12.599
There you go, yeah with my cook ref yes, no

969
00:53:12.599 --> 00:53:14.159
but no. But when he was talking when Julian, when

970
00:53:14.159 --> 00:53:16.239
you were talk about your creative process and how it's

971
00:53:16.320 --> 00:53:18.440
you know, were you the same creative as you were

972
00:53:18.559 --> 00:53:22.039
before you started to do audio rottica or as it

973
00:53:22.599 --> 00:53:23.280
you know changed?

974
00:53:24.760 --> 00:53:28.280
M hm. That's an interesting framing. May the same creative?

975
00:53:28.400 --> 00:53:32.800
I think I like to think of it as the

976
00:53:33.000 --> 00:53:37.840
short answer be yes, I'm the same. I think the

977
00:53:37.880 --> 00:53:39.400
reason for that is because like I have a sort

978
00:53:39.440 --> 00:53:43.159
of belief system or value system around like what can

979
00:53:43.199 --> 00:53:46.840
possibly change and what doesn't change? And I think that

980
00:53:46.880 --> 00:53:53.320
there's kind of a thread of continuity that's woven through

981
00:53:55.159 --> 00:53:59.840
and like an infinitely fluctuating ocean of change that is

982
00:53:59.840 --> 00:54:03.320
like the material physical level of reality. You know, there's

983
00:54:03.360 --> 00:54:05.719
all sorts of fun ways that you can look at that.

984
00:54:05.880 --> 00:54:08.719
You know, every seven years your body has fully sloughed

985
00:54:08.719 --> 00:54:12.400
off and regenerated all of its cells. Like you're literally

986
00:54:12.400 --> 00:54:16.880
not the same person on a molecular level. But I

987
00:54:16.920 --> 00:54:20.559
think being a creative person is and this is not

988
00:54:20.599 --> 00:54:23.679
my original thought, but like we've already talked about it today,

989
00:54:23.719 --> 00:54:27.920
you're channeling stuff. You're open to being the vessel through

990
00:54:27.960 --> 00:54:34.639
which something is communicated, and so that has not changed.

991
00:54:34.719 --> 00:54:40.639
I think what changes or what is what can modulate.

992
00:54:41.639 --> 00:54:45.480
And I've now experienced like audio AE has been given

993
00:54:45.519 --> 00:54:51.119
me kind of the most intensive and like regular way

994
00:54:51.199 --> 00:54:53.760
to engage with this and to examine this in myself.

995
00:54:53.800 --> 00:54:57.039
But like in everything, whether it's been acting or writing

996
00:54:57.360 --> 00:55:02.440
or even like you know, teaching or healing modalities or

997
00:55:02.559 --> 00:55:07.800
anything like that, the facilitator is trying to become unblocked.

998
00:55:08.599 --> 00:55:12.320
You're just trying to be as unblocked as possible, you know,

999
00:55:13.000 --> 00:55:17.719
And so that I feel is and it's you know,

1000
00:55:17.760 --> 00:55:21.119
I think also, especially in the Western world, we're obsessed

1001
00:55:21.159 --> 00:55:24.960
with linearity, like it's all on a path, you know,

1002
00:55:25.639 --> 00:55:28.360
and it's just like you're either better or you're worse,

1003
00:55:28.800 --> 00:55:31.000
like you're further you're behind. You know.

1004
00:55:33.360 --> 00:55:38.119
It's not like he turned into pol mccowny then Jesus.

1005
00:55:39.039 --> 00:55:39.960
The Californians.

1006
00:55:43.239 --> 00:55:53.559
Man, you're the further behind. You know. It's God and

1007
00:55:53.599 --> 00:55:57.199
it's just not like it's not it's not you know,

1008
00:55:57.480 --> 00:56:01.000
I think and I say that, and I like to

1009
00:56:01.039 --> 00:56:03.519
sort of grandstand on it a little bit because I

1010
00:56:03.679 --> 00:56:07.159
suffer tremendously even though I'm saying what I'm saying of

1011
00:56:07.199 --> 00:56:10.119
like you realize that you have these sneaky expectations of

1012
00:56:10.159 --> 00:56:12.920
yourself that things are going to be linear, like I'm older,

1013
00:56:13.199 --> 00:56:16.320
I've done more, or go I should be better at

1014
00:56:16.360 --> 00:56:18.639
this whatever fuck that means, like I should be more

1015
00:56:18.679 --> 00:56:20.920
accessible or I should be able to like toss it

1016
00:56:20.960 --> 00:56:25.519
off with less, and it just does not work like that. Yeah, Ever,

1017
00:56:26.159 --> 00:56:28.719
it may seem like it for a second, but that

1018
00:56:28.840 --> 00:56:31.719
is illusory. We are constantly in these sort of like

1019
00:56:32.599 --> 00:56:40.239
circular like oscillations, like oscillatory reality, you know. So yeah,

1020
00:56:40.360 --> 00:56:46.239
I think I'm different insofar as like I'm like my

1021
00:56:46.320 --> 00:56:52.239
oscillations are maybe changing frequency, but I'm the same creative person,

1022
00:56:52.320 --> 00:56:54.599
the same things that like the same pleasure principles that

1023
00:56:54.639 --> 00:56:58.400
I have, pleasure principle one and two. Check it out.

1024
00:57:02.800 --> 00:57:06.079
I follow them, and I feel like that's that's that

1025
00:57:06.159 --> 00:57:08.719
acting teacher as well, they said there's only two interesting

1026
00:57:08.760 --> 00:57:14.360
things about an artist, any artist, their privacy and their insanity.

1027
00:57:15.280 --> 00:57:17.599
And it's those things that you can't discribe. You're like,

1028
00:57:17.639 --> 00:57:19.840
why am I interested? Why am I obsessed with this?

1029
00:57:19.960 --> 00:57:24.400
Why has this caught my eye? Why? Why? Why? Why me? Why? Now?

1030
00:57:24.440 --> 00:57:28.239
Why here? Blah blah blah. Those that's it, because everything

1031
00:57:28.280 --> 00:57:31.880
else is you're repackaging, you know, the same ship that

1032
00:57:31.920 --> 00:57:35.800
everyone has, and there's value to that, you know. But like, yeah,

1033
00:57:35.920 --> 00:57:36.639
what was the question?

1034
00:57:38.679 --> 00:57:41.719
Just we should all stop questioning and just experience everything.

1035
00:57:41.440 --> 00:57:45.119
So exact, just let it be, man.

1036
00:57:46.400 --> 00:57:48.760
But what's one thing that we might assume about you

1037
00:57:48.800 --> 00:57:50.000
that's totally fucking wrong.

1038
00:57:50.960 --> 00:57:55.800
I think that there's a perception of creators in general,

1039
00:57:55.960 --> 00:57:59.079
but I guess myself in particular, that there is kind

1040
00:57:59.119 --> 00:58:05.159
of like a hyper sexuality about us that like I'm

1041
00:58:05.199 --> 00:58:10.360
constantly like in this like libidinous fervor, and you know,

1042
00:58:10.440 --> 00:58:13.239
certainly like I think that's part of why I've I've

1043
00:58:13.719 --> 00:58:16.079
steered a little bit clear of of being really active

1044
00:58:16.079 --> 00:58:18.440
on social media is because I've felt like a pressure

1045
00:58:19.119 --> 00:58:21.400
that's been mostly I don't know, I don't think that's

1046
00:58:21.440 --> 00:58:23.880
a pressure that's being put on me, but I've like

1047
00:58:23.920 --> 00:58:26.880
it's like, if this is the way that I'm known,

1048
00:58:27.440 --> 00:58:29.519
if the work is, and I would hope that the

1049
00:58:29.519 --> 00:58:31.440
work is primarily the way that people are engaging with

1050
00:58:31.440 --> 00:58:35.719
me and getting to know me, then I do get

1051
00:58:35.760 --> 00:58:40.039
this this like, oh you're you're you must be like

1052
00:58:40.119 --> 00:58:43.519
have a really vibrant sex life. You must be like

1053
00:58:44.079 --> 00:58:48.280
either very promiscuous or this or that. And like since

1054
00:58:48.320 --> 00:58:51.039
I started doing Quinn, like like I said, I was,

1055
00:58:51.760 --> 00:58:57.199
I had a horrific, like awful, brutal, toxic, like archetypical

1056
00:58:57.440 --> 00:59:01.440
dealing with some of my oldest shit relationship that immediately

1057
00:59:01.440 --> 00:59:03.760
preceded me starting to do this work. And I've been

1058
00:59:03.800 --> 00:59:07.280
doing just kind of a lot of calming down and

1059
00:59:07.400 --> 00:59:10.920
quieting down and simplifying and streamlining of my life, and

1060
00:59:11.000 --> 00:59:13.480
a lot of that has been like taking emotional inventory.

1061
00:59:13.880 --> 00:59:16.280
I put a lot of that into my work, and like,

1062
00:59:16.320 --> 00:59:20.840
I actually have had less sex since I started doing

1063
00:59:21.440 --> 00:59:24.760
audio erotica and probably at any point in my life.

1064
00:59:25.679 --> 00:59:28.119
And I think that might surprise people to hear.

1065
00:59:28.880 --> 00:59:32.159
But yeah, but do you think some of the assumptions

1066
00:59:32.199 --> 00:59:37.320
based on you like being seen as this you sexual

1067
00:59:37.400 --> 00:59:40.119
being is also to do with you being a man,

1068
00:59:40.199 --> 00:59:42.320
and most people would make the assumption that men just

1069
00:59:42.360 --> 00:59:43.519
think about sex all day long.

1070
00:59:44.960 --> 00:59:46.840
I think that's definitely part of it. Yeah, I don't

1071
00:59:46.880 --> 00:59:52.880
think that I can never separate myself from that set

1072
00:59:53.039 --> 00:59:57.000
of you know, assumptions. And you know, I have heard though,

1073
00:59:57.000 --> 01:00:03.480
I've heard other creators in interviews, female creators, non binary

1074
01:00:03.559 --> 01:00:06.199
creators who are like, yes, this has changed my sex

1075
01:00:06.239 --> 01:00:09.199
life tremendously. I feel much more confident asking for things,

1076
01:00:09.239 --> 01:00:11.440
demanding things. I'm not settling for less. You know, I'm

1077
01:00:11.440 --> 01:00:13.519
doing this. I feel I'm putting myself out there in

1078
01:00:13.559 --> 01:00:21.639
this way and that hasn't been my experience yet, so

1079
01:00:22.000 --> 01:00:25.920
I don't know, but yeah, I haven't really had this

1080
01:00:26.119 --> 01:00:30.199
conversation with other creators. Either. I think it's a thing

1081
01:00:30.199 --> 01:00:33.760
that people sometimes get asked about and in the larger

1082
01:00:33.760 --> 01:00:37.719
context of like sex positivity and making it much more

1083
01:00:37.760 --> 01:00:43.360
normalized to talk about the topics that audio erotica brings up.

1084
01:00:43.400 --> 01:00:46.199
And like, I really that is something that I'm very

1085
01:00:46.280 --> 01:00:48.559
excited about and I want to participate in. And I

1086
01:00:48.559 --> 01:00:53.599
think it's like, you know, yeah, like it's especially in America,

1087
01:00:53.679 --> 01:00:57.400
it's this crazy again, not breaking new ground saying any

1088
01:00:57.440 --> 01:01:02.159
of this, but like this like puritanical, like hyper consumer

1089
01:01:02.239 --> 01:01:05.719
based culture that is, all of it is predicated on

1090
01:01:05.880 --> 01:01:09.239
like sex and in group out groups stuff, and like

1091
01:01:09.559 --> 01:01:15.159
desirability and like social capital, sexual capital and like you know,

1092
01:01:15.320 --> 01:01:21.199
gender archetypes and stereotypes, and yet we have zero well

1093
01:01:21.239 --> 01:01:23.199
and actually I think it's part and parcel because like

1094
01:01:23.239 --> 01:01:28.719
the sort of unmoored nature of Americans and America in

1095
01:01:28.800 --> 01:01:33.239
terms of how we think about sex, about how we

1096
01:01:33.320 --> 01:01:37.719
have sex, about how that influences our social lives and

1097
01:01:37.760 --> 01:01:40.159
our friend groups and all these things. It makes us

1098
01:01:40.239 --> 01:01:44.480
vulnerable I think to like predatory marketing techniques and to

1099
01:01:45.639 --> 01:01:50.920
you know, so, yeah, I'm all for and that's one

1100
01:01:50.960 --> 01:01:54.320
of the reasons I fully stand by, you know, everything

1101
01:01:54.519 --> 01:01:57.840
that AE is about and you know, I only do

1102
01:01:57.920 --> 01:02:02.320
it under a pseudonym because I work with kids. But yeah,

1103
01:02:02.320 --> 01:02:05.920
as it pretends are my individual sex life. I also

1104
01:02:06.440 --> 01:02:10.199
I really don't ever want to I err far on

1105
01:02:10.239 --> 01:02:13.239
the side of like you would never want to cash

1106
01:02:13.320 --> 01:02:18.119
in on or like how do I put this like

1107
01:02:19.320 --> 01:02:22.920
use my or leverage my like position as a person

1108
01:02:22.960 --> 01:02:27.480
who does sex stuff professionally as a way to like

1109
01:02:27.960 --> 01:02:31.960
seduce or anything like that. You know.

1110
01:02:32.199 --> 01:02:35.880
Yeah, that's something I actually often wondered, was like with

1111
01:02:36.039 --> 01:02:39.119
the amount of audios that you all create, like do

1112
01:02:39.639 --> 01:02:41.719
you get like burnout? Like is it like you're talking

1113
01:02:41.800 --> 01:02:45.719
about sex so much or performing you're doing all these

1114
01:02:45.719 --> 01:02:48.199
things that it is like do you get burnt out?

1115
01:02:48.280 --> 01:02:49.840
I mean not that you don't want to have sex,

1116
01:02:49.840 --> 01:02:52.239
but it's like, oh, yeah, that's my job.

1117
01:02:52.440 --> 01:02:53.920
You might not, right.

1118
01:02:54.239 --> 01:02:57.519
Yeah, I've thought about that in a couple of different contexts,

1119
01:02:57.559 --> 01:03:02.280
like off off Dome, Like I I did a change

1120
01:03:02.360 --> 01:03:04.599
it immediately once I got into like the once a

1121
01:03:04.639 --> 01:03:08.480
week contract. I was like, it did change the way

1122
01:03:08.480 --> 01:03:13.880
I approached masturbation because I was like I remember so

1123
01:03:13.960 --> 01:03:16.559
clearly just being like the first time I started to masturbate,

1124
01:03:16.639 --> 01:03:18.519
I was like could I be doing this professionally right.

1125
01:03:18.400 --> 01:03:21.960
Now, like this is content and by gonna.

1126
01:03:21.719 --> 01:03:30.119
Be less inspired tomorrow if I masturbate right now, Yeah exactly. Yeah. Yeah,

1127
01:03:30.159 --> 01:03:31.800
it's like are we running sprints before we get on

1128
01:03:31.800 --> 01:03:36.400
the field. So that was that is something that I

1129
01:03:36.639 --> 01:03:39.679
still do think about. I find that the part that

1130
01:03:39.920 --> 01:03:43.800
I have to do some work around to avoid the

1131
01:03:43.800 --> 01:03:47.079
burnout that's not just natural is the sex part I

1132
01:03:47.360 --> 01:03:50.480
and it's it's because there's it's it's hard to say

1133
01:03:50.480 --> 01:03:51.920
how much is burnout and how much of it is

1134
01:03:51.960 --> 01:03:55.880
like fear or anxiety. I am afraid of repeating myself.

1135
01:03:56.199 --> 01:03:58.960
You're always balancing this kind of tension between oh people

1136
01:03:59.039 --> 01:04:01.760
know me for certain of things. And so I could

1137
01:04:01.880 --> 01:04:06.519
do that ostensibly forever, and like my core listeners probably

1138
01:04:06.559 --> 01:04:09.280
be fine with that, But one I I'm not that

1139
01:04:09.400 --> 01:04:13.199
interested in that. And two I want to, like, you know,

1140
01:04:13.400 --> 01:04:15.800
use all the eighty eight keys on the piano, you know,

1141
01:04:16.039 --> 01:04:18.519
And if I'm only playing it like right here, then

1142
01:04:18.760 --> 01:04:22.880
it's it's boring and it's and it's scary to sometimes

1143
01:04:22.920 --> 01:04:26.000
be like way over here where I don't really know,

1144
01:04:26.079 --> 01:04:27.679
like I don't have a ton of experience doing this.

1145
01:04:27.760 --> 01:04:34.000
I don't have so that can create avoidance, that can

1146
01:04:34.039 --> 01:04:36.960
create like a veneer of burnout where it's like I

1147
01:04:37.000 --> 01:04:38.960
don't want to deal with this. It's like I don't

1148
01:04:38.960 --> 01:04:42.480
want to stress myself out. You know. The part that

1149
01:04:42.559 --> 01:04:45.679
I don't ever get burnt out about is the storytelling

1150
01:04:45.719 --> 01:04:52.800
aspect of it. I have ideas of, like, yeah, so

1151
01:04:52.880 --> 01:04:56.280
that part never I'm never wanting for for that, But

1152
01:04:56.480 --> 01:04:59.719
the like, it's a it's a great challenge of like

1153
01:04:59.760 --> 01:05:04.880
how do I authentically make an intimate encounter happen? How

1154
01:05:04.880 --> 01:05:06.960
do I make space for that? How do I structure

1155
01:05:07.000 --> 01:05:11.159
it within this world or character dynamic that I want

1156
01:05:11.199 --> 01:05:11.639
to explore.

1157
01:05:12.800 --> 01:05:15.079
But I also think the irony is that you might

1158
01:05:15.079 --> 01:05:16.719
be having less sex, but the people who are listening

1159
01:05:16.719 --> 01:05:19.559
to your audios are having more and better sex.

1160
01:05:19.719 --> 01:05:26.599
So I hope. So I'm all about wealth redistribution.

1161
01:05:27.039 --> 01:05:28.000
So nice.

1162
01:05:28.480 --> 01:05:32.320
Yeah, I've had and I you know, in seriousness, I

1163
01:05:32.320 --> 01:05:37.199
have been the beneficiary of having some really profoundly loving

1164
01:05:37.440 --> 01:05:41.840
and sexually revelatory relationships in my life, and so to

1165
01:05:41.920 --> 01:05:44.920
be able to imbue the work that I do with

1166
01:05:45.159 --> 01:05:47.920
those experiences for people who haven't been as fortunate as

1167
01:05:47.960 --> 01:05:53.039
I yet is like how I connect to feeling like

1168
01:05:53.039 --> 01:05:54.679
what I do is an act of service.

1169
01:05:55.039 --> 01:05:58.280
What past relationship experience would you say has impacted you

1170
01:05:58.320 --> 01:06:00.840
the most the work that you do.

1171
01:06:00.960 --> 01:06:05.079
Now, that's a great question. There's a very like literal

1172
01:06:05.119 --> 01:06:08.440
sense where like there are relationships that I've had, not

1173
01:06:08.480 --> 01:06:12.079
necessarily romantic. Even there's a friend that the be My

1174
01:06:12.159 --> 01:06:16.239
Guest series is about, Like that's that's been a pretty

1175
01:06:16.280 --> 01:06:20.440
like direct influence. But then there's like I would say,

1176
01:06:20.480 --> 01:06:25.320
my first my first relationship was with the woman, well,

1177
01:06:25.559 --> 01:06:29.079
we were quite young. It was my first girlfriend. I

1178
01:06:29.119 --> 01:06:33.480
was in high school and she and we're very close

1179
01:06:33.480 --> 01:06:36.760
friends to this day. Incredible person, and there was a

1180
01:06:36.840 --> 01:06:42.599
kind of acceptance and like a ferrality that we felt

1181
01:06:42.639 --> 01:06:45.199
safe with each other. I couldn't believe she picked me

1182
01:06:45.639 --> 01:06:48.239
to like be a person she wanted to explore with

1183
01:06:48.320 --> 01:06:55.320
that kind of carnality and true affection and like youthful

1184
01:06:55.360 --> 01:06:59.199
exuberance and like not knowing what we should be afraid

1185
01:06:59.280 --> 01:07:03.039
of or like what we didn't know and having to

1186
01:07:03.079 --> 01:07:06.559
communicate with like a tiny little pea boy brain. Yeah,

1187
01:07:06.599 --> 01:07:12.199
like you know, working with my limitations that I think,

1188
01:07:12.719 --> 01:07:17.639
more than any other sexual or romantic relationship laid the

1189
01:07:17.679 --> 01:07:21.920
groundwork for like, that's like the foundation upon which everything

1190
01:07:21.960 --> 01:07:22.840
else was built.

1191
01:07:23.079 --> 01:07:26.360
So yeah, so what was the first tattoo you got?

1192
01:07:27.840 --> 01:07:31.400
The first tattoo I got was what a fucking pivot

1193
01:07:31.440 --> 01:07:31.719
that one?

1194
01:07:31.880 --> 01:07:33.199
I mean, my god, I've been looking at them the

1195
01:07:33.239 --> 01:07:33.559
whole time.

1196
01:07:35.400 --> 01:07:37.760
That's your first one. That was my first one. I

1197
01:07:37.800 --> 01:07:41.719
got that on my thirtieth birthday with a massive bunks

1198
01:07:42.079 --> 01:07:43.000
is sitting.

1199
01:07:42.679 --> 01:07:45.480
On the can okay, oh, okay.

1200
01:07:46.599 --> 01:07:47.880
Depends on how you want to look at.

1201
01:07:47.760 --> 01:07:49.440
It on the toilet.

1202
01:07:49.639 --> 01:07:50.519
Yeah, it's a little bit.

1203
01:07:50.880 --> 01:07:53.679
Sometimes I think it's a teacup. Sometimes I think it's

1204
01:07:53.760 --> 01:07:55.679
like a little heavenly toilet.

1205
01:07:56.119 --> 01:07:58.199
Yeah, okay, course.

1206
01:07:58.639 --> 01:07:59.280
Yeah.

1207
01:07:59.320 --> 01:08:02.000
And he's fishing or they're fishing. They seem kind of

1208
01:08:02.000 --> 01:08:06.519
androgynist to me. I haven't decided. I was fascinated by

1209
01:08:06.559 --> 01:08:09.800
tattoos on people. I never thought I was going to

1210
01:08:09.800 --> 01:08:13.000
be able to get a tattoo because I have crippling

1211
01:08:13.119 --> 01:08:17.640
indecision when it comes to making long term choices, and

1212
01:08:17.680 --> 01:08:18.880
so tattooing.

1213
01:08:18.640 --> 01:08:21.159
That doesn't mix well.

1214
01:08:21.199 --> 01:08:25.600
It became this like practice in learning how to trust

1215
01:08:25.720 --> 01:08:28.760
my gut. Like we were talking Merriam Webster before about

1216
01:08:28.800 --> 01:08:31.920
like trusting your gut and letting it lead you before

1217
01:08:32.000 --> 01:08:34.640
your thought. And so here was this thing that terrified me,

1218
01:08:34.680 --> 01:08:38.079
which is like making the wrong choice about how to

1219
01:08:38.199 --> 01:08:40.319
mark my body, because how do I know what I like?

1220
01:08:41.600 --> 01:08:43.039
I don't know what I like? Do I know what

1221
01:08:43.079 --> 01:08:45.920
I am? I going to like that tomorrow? And I

1222
01:08:45.920 --> 01:08:47.880
had this great advice from a friend of mine who

1223
01:08:47.920 --> 01:08:50.119
was very tattooed, and I was asking about tattoos, and

1224
01:08:50.199 --> 01:08:55.319
she said, the tattoos that I appreciate the most are

1225
01:08:55.359 --> 01:08:57.840
the ones that didn't have any real specific meaning to them.

1226
01:08:57.920 --> 01:09:01.920
They just on the day jumped out at me. And

1227
01:09:02.079 --> 01:09:04.960
I didn't know why. And I just followed that, and

1228
01:09:05.279 --> 01:09:07.199
I was really glad to have been given that piece

1229
01:09:07.239 --> 01:09:10.000
of advice because you then get to discover you haven't

1230
01:09:10.039 --> 01:09:12.720
prescribed a meaning. It's not coming from here, it's coming

1231
01:09:12.760 --> 01:09:19.199
from like here, and letting that sort of learning trust

1232
01:09:19.399 --> 01:09:22.279
in that very concrete way by like I trust the artist,

1233
01:09:22.319 --> 01:09:24.880
I trust myself, and I trust this process of just

1234
01:09:24.960 --> 01:09:30.800
like say yes on the day, wow, and yeah. Now

1235
01:09:30.800 --> 01:09:34.039
I have like nineteen tattoos, So.

1236
01:09:34.039 --> 01:09:37.960
Then I imagine there's not one that you regret, right, no,

1237
01:09:37.960 --> 01:09:39.079
no regards.

1238
01:09:39.039 --> 01:09:42.439
No regrets regards. When did you start getting tattooed? When

1239
01:09:42.439 --> 01:09:44.600
did when was everyone's first tattoo age? Oh?

1240
01:09:44.640 --> 01:09:48.560
God, was I was? I was grown. I was probably

1241
01:09:49.239 --> 01:09:50.159
in my forties.

1242
01:09:51.199 --> 01:09:55.199
Hell yeah, your pineapple wasn't your forty.

1243
01:09:55.399 --> 01:09:57.600
How did it? How did you feel? Like? I mean,

1244
01:09:57.680 --> 01:09:59.920
I was thirty and I it was such a visceral,

1245
01:10:00.079 --> 01:10:03.800
like crazy, like yeah, a pumping experience. How did you

1246
01:10:03.840 --> 01:10:04.560
feel it was?

1247
01:10:06.039 --> 01:10:09.239
I was uncertain, like I was like, what the fuck

1248
01:10:09.239 --> 01:10:10.600
am I doing? It was one of those like I'm

1249
01:10:10.600 --> 01:10:12.560
away for the weekend with some friends from high school.

1250
01:10:12.720 --> 01:10:14.479
We had a lot to drink. I didn't get the tattoo.

1251
01:10:14.479 --> 01:10:16.039
Wo I was drunk, but we had a lot to

1252
01:10:16.079 --> 01:10:17.640
drink and we were talking about and one of my

1253
01:10:17.680 --> 01:10:21.800
friends gave this like speech about how you know, women

1254
01:10:21.920 --> 01:10:24.960
need to be more like pineapples. They need to stand

1255
01:10:25.000 --> 01:10:30.000
strong and be so sweet on the inside, but wear

1256
01:10:30.039 --> 01:10:32.520
a crown and like all of this kind of like symbolism.

1257
01:10:32.720 --> 01:10:36.760
That's what we're all like, we should get pineapple. And

1258
01:10:36.840 --> 01:10:40.039
some of my friends got like big multi colored ones

1259
01:10:40.079 --> 01:10:41.960
on their legs, and that's just not me, Like I'm

1260
01:10:42.000 --> 01:10:44.239
just a minimalist by nature. So I get like a

1261
01:10:44.239 --> 01:10:48.079
little like simple black line one on my wrist. And

1262
01:10:48.119 --> 01:10:50.520
then I later find out that it's the international sign

1263
01:10:50.600 --> 01:10:51.319
for swingers.

1264
01:10:51.359 --> 01:10:54.119
Whatever.

1265
01:10:55.039 --> 01:10:58.159
But the best fucking story is my mother in law

1266
01:10:59.000 --> 01:11:01.239
loved my tattoos so much she got a matching what.

1267
01:11:01.359 --> 01:11:03.560
She had me send her a picture and I went,

1268
01:11:04.119 --> 01:11:06.600
just so you know, it's kind of a sign for swingers,

1269
01:11:07.000 --> 01:11:11.079
and she's like, I don't fucking care, and I'm like, okay,

1270
01:11:11.159 --> 01:11:13.039
so she's got one on her wrist as well.

1271
01:11:13.479 --> 01:11:16.840
Amazing. Okay, So New Life Goal, give a speech that's

1272
01:11:16.880 --> 01:11:19.960
so good that somebody, a group of people decided to

1273
01:11:19.960 --> 01:11:21.359
get a tattoo because of it.

1274
01:11:21.399 --> 01:11:25.479
Right, I mean, Jesus, start a podcast and then you

1275
01:11:25.520 --> 01:11:27.000
can all get a tattoo.

1276
01:11:27.920 --> 01:11:29.560
I feel like I should have known this in the research.

1277
01:11:29.600 --> 01:11:31.119
I'm gonna fire my fucking assistant.

1278
01:11:32.079 --> 01:11:35.239
It's a relatively new development. So yeah, so we each

1279
01:11:35.279 --> 01:11:39.319
got a tattoo that we customized them. Well, we all

1280
01:11:39.359 --> 01:11:41.920
met in a creator's community years ago, like years ago

1281
01:11:41.960 --> 01:11:45.800
now two years ago, and we just loved this work

1282
01:11:45.880 --> 01:11:47.479
so much and the impact that it had on our

1283
01:11:47.560 --> 01:11:49.960
lives that we thought we need to come together and

1284
01:11:50.239 --> 01:11:53.279
talk about this more so two years ago now almost,

1285
01:11:53.560 --> 01:11:55.359
I mean two years ago we started the planning and

1286
01:11:55.399 --> 01:11:58.319
so yeah, the three we came together and started the podcast,

1287
01:11:58.439 --> 01:12:00.960
and so we knew at the one year anniversary we

1288
01:12:01.159 --> 01:12:04.039
wanted to do tattoos, and I had said to them, like,

1289
01:12:04.079 --> 01:12:06.319
it will be cool to do like the old fifties mic.

1290
01:12:06.840 --> 01:12:09.079
So then we went to the creator whose community we

1291
01:12:09.119 --> 01:12:11.159
met in and asked him to design it and dry it,

1292
01:12:11.199 --> 01:12:14.760
and he did, and then we each customized it to

1293
01:12:15.000 --> 01:12:18.319
represent our individual sign offs, like I am like this

1294
01:12:18.399 --> 01:12:20.359
has been Kasi. Your voice matters, so I have like

1295
01:12:20.399 --> 01:12:25.760
the outline of the woman's face speaking beautiful jewels.

1296
01:12:25.800 --> 01:12:28.159
Mine is go put your lips to good use, so

1297
01:12:28.199 --> 01:12:31.039
I have like a little pair of lips like over there.

1298
01:12:31.119 --> 01:12:37.159
On mine, and then mine needs keep winking splash, So

1299
01:12:37.199 --> 01:12:39.880
I've got a splash of coming out of them.

1300
01:12:41.079 --> 01:12:42.680
And what's the splash mean? What is that for?

1301
01:12:43.279 --> 01:12:48.079
It's the it's the it's the it's the gushing of

1302
01:12:49.760 --> 01:12:53.199
passions when they're here for an art form that is

1303
01:12:53.399 --> 01:12:57.199
underrated but will take over and it will become global domination.

1304
01:12:57.319 --> 01:12:58.560
It's a comestand on our arms.

1305
01:13:00.119 --> 01:13:03.560
Yeah best. It's got a red balloon on it as well.

1306
01:13:04.920 --> 01:13:06.479
In honor of your passed away father.

1307
01:13:09.000 --> 01:13:11.079
My father would have found it hilarious, the fact that

1308
01:13:11.119 --> 01:13:12.359
he's underneath a comstain.

1309
01:13:12.520 --> 01:13:18.079
I hate death and rebirth. Life comes from come, you know,

1310
01:13:18.359 --> 01:13:22.119
from dust and to dust. I think that, yeah, yeah,

1311
01:13:22.199 --> 01:13:24.800
are there not commestains in the Bible. I think yes,

1312
01:13:25.039 --> 01:13:25.640
there's lots.

1313
01:13:25.479 --> 01:13:26.680
Of comstains on the Bible.

1314
01:13:27.680 --> 01:13:29.640
There is one night stop in that hotel.

1315
01:13:31.119 --> 01:13:32.279
You're gonna wind up in the sin bin.

1316
01:13:33.079 --> 01:13:36.279
What's your best tattoo story, Julian, Yeah.

1317
01:13:35.760 --> 01:13:40.760
It's how I got the name. Julian was the individual

1318
01:13:40.760 --> 01:13:43.880
who did this particular tattoo. So there's a one fella

1319
01:13:44.000 --> 01:13:49.840
who's done ninety of my tattoos, and then two other

1320
01:13:49.840 --> 01:13:53.800
people have have given me tattoos, and Julian is the

1321
01:13:53.880 --> 01:13:58.880
name of the lad who did Yeah, I did this

1322
01:13:58.920 --> 01:14:03.079
by accident, put all all the tattoos on my right

1323
01:14:03.119 --> 01:14:06.199
side of my body, which is like associated with the

1324
01:14:06.199 --> 01:14:12.359
masculine energies in Chinese social medicine are about splitting between

1325
01:14:12.439 --> 01:14:15.560
two things. So here's a guy who's resisting being split

1326
01:14:15.760 --> 01:14:20.479
in half with his head, and I feel and this one.

1327
01:14:20.279 --> 01:14:26.359
Is the circus woman riding the horses exactly.

1328
01:14:26.760 --> 01:14:32.119
Yeah, And I often feel like I'm standing astride two

1329
01:14:32.159 --> 01:14:34.680
horses that sometimes don't want to go in the same direction.

1330
01:14:34.960 --> 01:14:36.640
And it's for me. It's like I one of the

1331
01:14:36.680 --> 01:14:40.039
central struggles I feel like with my interiority in my

1332
01:14:40.119 --> 01:14:42.920
life is that I am like polarized against myself. Like

1333
01:14:42.960 --> 01:14:46.000
there's a part of me that's very clear, very convincing,

1334
01:14:46.399 --> 01:14:48.319
that wants one thing, and then there's a part of

1335
01:14:48.319 --> 01:14:51.600
me that's equally convincing and equally clear that wants the

1336
01:14:51.680 --> 01:14:54.560
other thing. And it's like I feel like I'm brokering

1337
01:14:54.640 --> 01:14:57.119
between these two, and I'm constantly trying to not feel

1338
01:14:57.119 --> 01:15:01.119
like split in half or pull apart. So it's funny

1339
01:15:01.199 --> 01:15:04.600
I do. And that's like a lot of the work

1340
01:15:04.600 --> 01:15:06.840
that I do. A lot of my like practices, whether

1341
01:15:06.880 --> 01:15:09.600
it be creative or spiritual or athletic, they have to

1342
01:15:09.760 --> 01:15:11.800
they're all have to do with grounding work. And I

1343
01:15:11.800 --> 01:15:15.159
didn't I didn't like follow astrology at all, but when

1344
01:15:15.159 --> 01:15:17.920
you date in Los Angeles you learn a lot about astrology.

1345
01:15:18.359 --> 01:15:25.119
Choice I am a triple air sign, which makes a

1346
01:15:25.159 --> 01:15:30.079
lot of such so I had to learn and sort

1347
01:15:30.079 --> 01:15:33.760
of I've been doing this unconsciously, but like a lot

1348
01:15:33.760 --> 01:15:36.199
of what I do is about grounding myself and like

1349
01:15:36.680 --> 01:15:41.119
slowing down, you know, finding touching earth, touching grass, et cetera,

1350
01:15:41.199 --> 01:15:44.560
literally and figurably. Yeah, so yeah, and that's I mean

1351
01:15:44.640 --> 01:15:46.760
tattooing is that too. It's kind of like taking these

1352
01:15:46.760 --> 01:15:49.920
things that are swirling around and and all. Like I said,

1353
01:15:50.000 --> 01:15:52.760
this is an accident. I did not like intend for

1354
01:15:52.800 --> 01:15:55.319
there to be a theme, and so it's another kind

1355
01:15:55.319 --> 01:15:58.439
of mark in the column of like just follow I

1356
01:15:58.439 --> 01:16:01.760
don't know why this is calling me, let's do it.

1357
01:16:02.000 --> 01:16:06.720
And then oh, oh that's interesting. How about that.

1358
01:16:06.920 --> 01:16:09.800
It's so funny to me just how some people are like,

1359
01:16:09.960 --> 01:16:12.319
you know, I got to make sure everything's perfect, what

1360
01:16:12.359 --> 01:16:13.800
if I regret it? And then we have people like

1361
01:16:13.840 --> 01:16:17.479
my brother who has an entire anime like sleeve and

1362
01:16:17.479 --> 01:16:20.000
then he did a bet with someone lost and they

1363
01:16:20.000 --> 01:16:21.920
were like, Okay, you gotta do the gumball machine in

1364
01:16:21.960 --> 01:16:24.720
the tattoo parlor. You're going to tomorrow and get whatever

1365
01:16:24.800 --> 01:16:27.720
tattoo comes out. So my brother got a freaking calf

1366
01:16:27.800 --> 01:16:31.880
tattoo of a frog looking into a Martini glass on

1367
01:16:31.960 --> 01:16:34.520
his leg for the rest of his life. Fantastic and

1368
01:16:34.560 --> 01:16:36.479
it's fucking cool. Let me just tell you it's cool.

1369
01:16:36.760 --> 01:16:39.279
I just think there's something cool, like, especially with tattoo

1370
01:16:39.319 --> 01:16:42.159
culture as well, that like if it's too perfect. And

1371
01:16:42.199 --> 01:16:43.840
I feel this way about art, I feel this way

1372
01:16:43.840 --> 01:16:47.159
about self presentation. I feel this way about like everything.

1373
01:16:47.800 --> 01:16:52.119
If it's too perfect, I'm annoyed. It's it's not there's

1374
01:16:52.159 --> 01:16:53.079
not because that's not.

1375
01:16:55.359 --> 01:16:57.439
Message traits of afraid.

1376
01:16:57.960 --> 01:16:59.479
Yeah, I don't do portraits, but I get.

1377
01:16:59.359 --> 01:17:02.800
The rest of it had to be correct because well,

1378
01:17:03.000 --> 01:17:04.840
if it's not, it's embarrassing, isn't it.

1379
01:17:05.560 --> 01:17:07.880
I think if you make Tom Hanks not look like

1380
01:17:07.920 --> 01:17:09.479
Tom Hanks, it's awkward.

1381
01:17:09.520 --> 01:17:12.159
Totally abouid I just mean that. I think like there's

1382
01:17:12.279 --> 01:17:14.760
there's people that have what we would call sort of

1383
01:17:14.800 --> 01:17:18.960
objectively bad tattoos that are like super hot and cool,

1384
01:17:19.079 --> 01:17:21.680
and it's like because they don't get it's like, yeah,

1385
01:17:21.720 --> 01:17:24.800
I have this. This one is really important to me

1386
01:17:24.840 --> 01:17:26.760
and it needed to be this way. And then also

1387
01:17:26.840 --> 01:17:30.000
like I was out with my friends and uh, we

1388
01:17:30.079 --> 01:17:31.840
made a blood packed and all decided to get like

1389
01:17:31.880 --> 01:17:34.359
a tattoo of a motorcycle helmet and like it's bad

1390
01:17:34.840 --> 01:17:38.840
because we were in like Reno, and and I love it,

1391
01:17:39.039 --> 01:17:40.640
you know, and it's stupid and I hate it, but

1392
01:17:40.640 --> 01:17:45.039
I love it, you know. I liked those people. Yeah,

1393
01:17:45.079 --> 01:17:47.079
I think there's something to be said about like if you,

1394
01:17:47.199 --> 01:17:48.840
if you really want to get tattooed, you should have

1395
01:17:48.920 --> 01:17:51.960
at least one bad tattoos.

1396
01:17:51.560 --> 01:17:56.479
Some random bad yeah, like fuck it, yeah, Jels, you

1397
01:17:56.479 --> 01:17:59.199
have a bad tattoo. You have your yeah, little yoga wan,

1398
01:17:59.319 --> 01:18:00.800
you've never done my life.

1399
01:18:00.600 --> 01:18:03.279
Right, So okay, first of all, yes I have. I

1400
01:18:03.359 --> 01:18:05.760
tried to become a yoga teacher and then twenty twenty happened.

1401
01:18:06.560 --> 01:18:09.079
But no, this was my very first tattoo when I

1402
01:18:09.079 --> 01:18:11.720
was eighteen, and I got it's the yeah, it's the

1403
01:18:11.760 --> 01:18:14.720
ome symbol. And I used to waitress again editing this out,

1404
01:18:14.960 --> 01:18:17.920
but I remember I was waitressing and I had a

1405
01:18:17.960 --> 01:18:22.039
table who were Hindu and they refused to have me

1406
01:18:22.119 --> 01:18:26.359
be their waitress.

1407
01:18:25.119 --> 01:18:26.119
Because of your tattoo.

1408
01:18:27.920 --> 01:18:33.640
I like, I actually died, like like fuck, no, it

1409
01:18:33.640 --> 01:18:35.960
looks like that. So it looks like that. My dad

1410
01:18:36.079 --> 01:18:38.760
used to My sister's basketball number used to be thirty.

1411
01:18:38.800 --> 01:18:40.640
So my dad used to be like, oh you you

1412
01:18:40.800 --> 01:18:44.640
referenced to your sister. She's like it does I know?

1413
01:18:45.079 --> 01:18:47.600
That's also just such a like can you imagine if

1414
01:18:47.640 --> 01:18:52.720
everyone who's like appropriated, even accidentally, my god a tattoo,

1415
01:18:52.920 --> 01:18:55.119
like you refuse to enage like what if? Like what if?

1416
01:18:55.479 --> 01:18:59.279
Like a Danish person saw my Beao tapestry tattoo and

1417
01:18:59.399 --> 01:19:01.439
was like, how dare you?

1418
01:19:01.479 --> 01:19:02.119
What do you know?

1419
01:19:02.680 --> 01:19:04.840
Are you remind us of our greatest defeat?

1420
01:19:05.000 --> 01:19:05.279
Fuck?

1421
01:19:05.479 --> 01:19:09.079
Yeah, yeah, I'm my noodles around you get out of here.

1422
01:19:11.159 --> 01:19:15.199
Talking about randomness, We have some randomness listener questions sent in.

1423
01:19:15.960 --> 01:19:16.960
Oh yeah, fay.

1424
01:19:18.279 --> 01:19:21.760
So should we crack on with a listener questions? Ladies?

1425
01:19:21.800 --> 01:19:24.880
Well, let's do it. Well, the first ones from Loki.

1426
01:19:25.119 --> 01:19:28.840
You know, Loki, I know of your fondness for Shakespeare.

1427
01:19:29.560 --> 01:19:30.000
Mm hmm.

1428
01:19:30.359 --> 01:19:32.239
Do you have a favorite piece of his that you

1429
01:19:32.359 --> 01:19:35.359
keep coming back to? Loki would like to know.

1430
01:19:35.439 --> 01:19:41.239
Let's see what would be my favorite? I hmm. I

1431
01:19:41.520 --> 01:19:45.119
will say I've been in the market for like a

1432
01:19:45.239 --> 01:19:51.039
proper compendium of all of the Shakespeare's collected works, which

1433
01:19:51.079 --> 01:19:53.680
I don't I don't have a physical copy of anymore.

1434
01:19:53.760 --> 01:19:59.359
I shared one with my ax a while ago, and

1435
01:19:59.399 --> 01:20:01.680
I missed that, so I would probably have a better

1436
01:20:01.680 --> 01:20:06.079
answer if I were engaging with it more frequently. I mean,

1437
01:20:06.279 --> 01:20:10.560
Macbeth is so gnarly. It's just so gnarly. It's so

1438
01:20:10.880 --> 01:20:14.439
and it also gets used in the context of my

1439
01:20:14.560 --> 01:20:17.800
one of my favorite books about acting is by an

1440
01:20:18.039 --> 01:20:22.039
irishman called Declan Donnellan. It's called The Actor and the Target,

1441
01:20:22.560 --> 01:20:26.760
and in it he posits an imaginary actress named Arena

1442
01:20:26.920 --> 01:20:30.439
who's fifteen and for just the purposes of sort of

1443
01:20:30.600 --> 01:20:33.319
sketching out the framework that he talks about in the book.

1444
01:20:34.520 --> 01:20:35.720
And this is a book by the way that like,

1445
01:20:35.800 --> 01:20:38.319
when I read it, it helped me understand that acting

1446
01:20:38.560 --> 01:20:41.239
and performance art is a thing that I'm like called

1447
01:20:41.279 --> 01:20:43.039
to do, because it didn't feel like an acting book

1448
01:20:43.039 --> 01:20:45.920
of felt like a treatise on like human psychology and

1449
01:20:46.000 --> 01:20:51.960
meaning making. And so in it he describes Arena, who's

1450
01:20:52.000 --> 01:20:54.399
thinking about she has to play Lady Macbeth, and she's

1451
01:20:54.439 --> 01:20:58.159
worried about, like how the fuck am I going to

1452
01:20:58.920 --> 01:21:03.600
embody this woman who is like through a complex eddying

1453
01:21:04.159 --> 01:21:08.840
you know, flow of emotion. She becomes murderous, she becomes

1454
01:21:09.000 --> 01:21:11.960
you know, like funeral in this way that's like a

1455
01:21:12.039 --> 01:21:17.279
grown woman's like rage and grief and fear and machinations

1456
01:21:17.319 --> 01:21:21.720
and all these things. And in it he says, the

1457
01:21:21.800 --> 01:21:26.119
real fear isn't that we aren't able to access that

1458
01:21:26.520 --> 01:21:29.199
because of our lack of life experience. The real fear

1459
01:21:29.239 --> 01:21:33.840
is that we can't access that. And it's funny. I

1460
01:21:33.840 --> 01:21:37.000
don't really I don't watch like horror movies very often.

1461
01:21:37.079 --> 01:21:40.359
I have to be forced to watch them. But the

1462
01:21:40.399 --> 01:21:44.880
like dark, dark, human emotion of Macbeth, I think, is

1463
01:21:44.920 --> 01:21:47.720
the thing that I'm endlessly fascinated by with Shakespeare. Go

1464
01:21:47.800 --> 01:21:52.600
watch sir Ian McKellen talk about Shakespeare. There's these series

1465
01:21:52.600 --> 01:21:55.680
of lectures that he did in like the late eighties.

1466
01:21:56.880 --> 01:22:01.039
Oh my god, and this you may be hearing me

1467
01:22:01.079 --> 01:22:03.359
talk and thinking like, well, that's not hot. This is

1468
01:22:03.359 --> 01:22:08.720
a podcast by Rotica. He's gone getgee Gallini.

1469
01:22:07.359 --> 01:22:10.600
Maybe on Quinn page one. All right, Okay, I have

1470
01:22:10.640 --> 01:22:14.960
the next listener question and it is from Knickers a

1471
01:22:15.039 --> 01:22:19.159
La Mode Underscore twelve. If you could instantly master one

1472
01:22:19.279 --> 01:22:22.039
skill related to audio erotica, what would it be?

1473
01:22:22.399 --> 01:22:25.399
I think, no refractory periods.

1474
01:22:25.479 --> 01:22:29.760
Maybe this is maybe weird, a weird answer, but if

1475
01:22:29.800 --> 01:22:35.720
I could like one hundred percent of the time make

1476
01:22:36.239 --> 01:22:40.279
what I'm doing like personally relevant to every single person

1477
01:22:40.399 --> 01:22:44.760
that I listened to that is listening to me without

1478
01:22:45.119 --> 01:22:48.840
like robbing from the other people, which I mean whatever,

1479
01:22:48.880 --> 01:22:50.880
This is the fantacy question, but that's what I would do.

1480
01:22:50.960 --> 01:22:55.760
I would, I would make it like perfectly resonant with everyone.

1481
01:22:56.439 --> 01:23:00.359
That is a skill, that's such a genius, going with

1482
01:23:00.560 --> 01:23:01.640
multiple orgasms.

1483
01:23:01.680 --> 01:23:06.760
But I can. I don't. I'm not responsible enough. There's

1484
01:23:06.840 --> 01:23:08.960
there's a reason that men have a refractory period. I

1485
01:23:08.960 --> 01:23:09.840
couldn't be trusted.

1486
01:23:10.000 --> 01:23:17.560
Next question from Scary Mary. Scary Mary Scary, what is

1487
01:23:17.600 --> 01:23:21.520
something people have liked in your audios that surprised you?

1488
01:23:22.039 --> 01:23:29.000
Well, okay, the like easy, bigger answer is people. Really

1489
01:23:29.159 --> 01:23:33.039
I was. I was truly surprised to find that the

1490
01:23:33.079 --> 01:23:38.000
more of like myself I put into an audio back

1491
01:23:38.039 --> 01:23:42.800
in like when I was starting out, the more of

1492
01:23:42.840 --> 01:23:45.439
a response like again, like I was just saying, like

1493
01:23:45.479 --> 01:23:48.119
there's a personal specific of like oh, there was this

1494
01:23:48.239 --> 01:23:50.199
type of tone that you had or this style of

1495
01:23:50.239 --> 01:23:53.279
interaction that you had, and that actually like I I've

1496
01:23:53.279 --> 01:23:55.239
had that or I've always wanted you know, there was

1497
01:23:55.279 --> 01:23:57.800
something where like the more I was willing to give,

1498
01:23:59.720 --> 01:24:04.079
the more people because I think I did have this

1499
01:24:04.159 --> 01:24:06.560
sort of conception of it or like model of it

1500
01:24:06.600 --> 01:24:09.720
where it was like, oh, be hot, like do hot?

1501
01:24:09.960 --> 01:24:15.720
Be hot? Seeing the ways in which people consume the work,

1502
01:24:15.840 --> 01:24:18.800
and that's why I mean obviously I'm I don't need

1503
01:24:18.800 --> 01:24:21.079
to lecture you all about this, but like the way

1504
01:24:21.279 --> 01:24:23.960
that's that's why these communities exist. It's this kind of

1505
01:24:24.359 --> 01:24:28.960
openness and vulnerability and honesty and sharing that connects you

1506
01:24:29.000 --> 01:24:31.520
with people in like a real and lasting way. So

1507
01:24:31.600 --> 01:24:33.319
that's like the top line. I think, if I can

1508
01:24:33.359 --> 01:24:42.520
be more speck what surprised me? I think? Okay, so

1509
01:24:42.600 --> 01:24:45.680
like going in the other direction, it's surprising to me

1510
01:24:45.760 --> 01:24:48.840
when people really like some of the more like character

1511
01:24:48.960 --> 01:24:51.920
things that I do, whether it's like a dialect and accent,

1512
01:24:53.920 --> 01:24:56.319
this sound like the level of detail to which people

1513
01:24:56.319 --> 01:24:57.800
pick apart my sound design.

1514
01:24:57.640 --> 01:24:59.840
Is crazy, right you.

1515
01:25:00.039 --> 01:25:03.960
I remember the Toy next Door part one, there's a

1516
01:25:04.000 --> 01:25:07.640
comment about like, ah, yes, the California scrub jay interesting,

1517
01:25:07.840 --> 01:25:10.079
and they like hear the bird and they're like that

1518
01:25:10.199 --> 01:25:11.720
I know what that? What bird that is? And I

1519
01:25:11.760 --> 01:25:15.960
was like, holy shit, it's crazy. I've started to include

1520
01:25:15.960 --> 01:25:21.199
more like uh like musical ambiance, like in more recent audios,

1521
01:25:21.199 --> 01:25:24.279
and the way people have responded to some of my

1522
01:25:24.399 --> 01:25:27.520
choices has been very fun too. I've been a little bit.

1523
01:25:27.439 --> 01:25:31.439
Surprised about fun or scary.

1524
01:25:30.600 --> 01:25:37.199
More fun yeah, really fun than you, I missy. I

1525
01:25:37.239 --> 01:25:39.159
just texted my wife. I'm like, bring me a power chord.

1526
01:25:39.239 --> 01:25:41.640
Stet are we are we changing your name to power Chord?

1527
01:25:41.640 --> 01:25:43.760
Because it's stressing me out that you're the only one

1528
01:25:43.920 --> 01:25:45.399
that doesn't have like a different name.

1529
01:25:45.880 --> 01:25:47.000
Yeah, more juice.

1530
01:25:47.479 --> 01:25:50.800
It's stressed more juice. Yes, Oh my god, Julian, thank you.

1531
01:25:50.880 --> 01:25:51.079
I was.

1532
01:25:51.119 --> 01:25:52.960
It was actually like actually stressing me out that you

1533
01:25:52.960 --> 01:25:55.159
didn't have a new name yet. Really okay, Well, also

1534
01:25:55.199 --> 01:25:59.560
we have gelatinous labia, Merriam Webster, Pemdas and then Kaza

1535
01:25:59.760 --> 01:26:01.439
come on, we need to come on.

1536
01:26:01.600 --> 01:26:05.239
But I'm always the steady I'm always the steady go to,

1537
01:26:05.359 --> 01:26:07.359
but I almost just lost power and I'm the only

1538
01:26:07.359 --> 01:26:07.880
one recording.

1539
01:26:08.039 --> 01:26:11.560
Can we clip Pemdos saying we have gelatinous labia?

1540
01:26:12.000 --> 01:26:16.039
Just that'll be the audio, that'll.

1541
01:26:15.880 --> 01:26:22.680
Be the promo in there, Like all I see now

1542
01:26:22.680 --> 01:26:24.520
in my head is a gelatinous labia because it's like.

1543
01:26:25.479 --> 01:26:27.840
See, I can't because it's not out. I can't see, no, but.

1544
01:26:27.760 --> 01:26:30.319
It's not seeing, its sensing. Yeah, because I can't see.

1545
01:26:30.520 --> 01:26:32.800
That's what I can do now, because monogone.

1546
01:26:33.760 --> 01:26:37.800
Julian, where do you fall on the scale A Fantasia scale?

1547
01:26:38.000 --> 01:26:41.880
The scale being like an image is created involuntarily more

1548
01:26:41.960 --> 01:26:42.520
or less.

1549
01:26:42.399 --> 01:26:44.520
Like how clearly can you see an apple?

1550
01:26:44.600 --> 01:26:46.600
Like if you shut your eyes you can actually see

1551
01:26:46.600 --> 01:26:48.199
it and just not be like, oh yeah, I know

1552
01:26:48.239 --> 01:26:50.399
what an apple looks like, which is me, I can't

1553
01:26:50.439 --> 01:26:51.359
see anything.

1554
01:26:51.119 --> 01:26:54.880
Interesting, So like how would I feel like it's it's

1555
01:26:54.920 --> 01:26:57.079
one of those things where how do I know what

1556
01:26:57.199 --> 01:26:59.600
I smell like? You know, because it's just like I'd

1557
01:26:59.600 --> 01:27:02.720
smell like that all the time. Uh, how do.

1558
01:27:02.720 --> 01:27:05.880
I There's like a picture.

1559
01:27:05.600 --> 01:27:07.520
That is there like a real test you could do.

1560
01:27:07.640 --> 01:27:09.760
Yeah, there's like a there's like a picture and it's

1561
01:27:09.760 --> 01:27:11.760
like when you shut your eyes, can you see an apple?

1562
01:27:11.800 --> 01:27:14.239
And it's like super red? And then the second levels

1563
01:27:14.319 --> 01:27:16.800
like less, the third ones and outline.

1564
01:27:17.359 --> 01:27:20.000
This is going to be interesting because I would self

1565
01:27:20.079 --> 01:27:25.600
rate myself as like I'm quite like I have quite

1566
01:27:25.600 --> 01:27:28.319
a detailed like recall, yeah, we.

1567
01:27:28.960 --> 01:27:32.399
All did it, and we are all.

1568
01:27:33.600 --> 01:27:36.039
Like we're all nothing nothing.

1569
01:27:36.039 --> 01:27:36.960
We can't see that.

1570
01:27:37.359 --> 01:27:38.840
And I and I like just dawned on me the

1571
01:27:38.920 --> 01:27:40.560
other day and I messaged them both and I was like,

1572
01:27:40.600 --> 01:27:44.159
wait a second, just in general, like if you put

1573
01:27:44.279 --> 01:27:46.800
tell me count one to ten, I'll forget, you know,

1574
01:27:46.960 --> 01:27:48.680
one to five. But if you put if you put

1575
01:27:48.720 --> 01:27:51.239
the numbers in front of me, I'm very visual, so

1576
01:27:51.319 --> 01:27:53.720
I never ever thought about how if I shut my eyes.

1577
01:27:53.760 --> 01:27:56.159
I'm a visual, very visual person. But for some reason,

1578
01:27:56.560 --> 01:27:59.279
it's black and that literally happened the other day to me,

1579
01:27:59.319 --> 01:28:01.399
and I was like, what the fuck? So, yeah, I

1580
01:28:01.399 --> 01:28:03.960
can't do this. So I'm a five. I don't see

1581
01:28:04.000 --> 01:28:05.039
anything when I shut my eyes.

1582
01:28:05.079 --> 01:28:05.960
All three of us are five.

1583
01:28:06.600 --> 01:28:08.960
Fun nothing even when I read, like I'm an avid

1584
01:28:09.000 --> 01:28:11.359
reader and I just I read the words in my

1585
01:28:11.399 --> 01:28:13.399
head and people are like, you don't see the pictures.

1586
01:28:13.439 --> 01:28:15.159
I'm like, oh my god, what you're talking about?

1587
01:28:15.479 --> 01:28:18.399
That's so interesting. I'm a one.

1588
01:28:19.640 --> 01:28:20.039
I'm true.

1589
01:28:20.319 --> 01:28:23.000
I'm so glad. I really am really amazing.

1590
01:28:23.159 --> 01:28:25.479
See now here's here's my thinking on it all. Because

1591
01:28:25.520 --> 01:28:28.560
Jewels was very devastated I find out she was a five.

1592
01:28:29.119 --> 01:28:30.359
I'm so devastated.

1593
01:28:30.760 --> 01:28:36.039
Clearly, I am fine being a five because I feel like,

1594
01:28:36.720 --> 01:28:39.840
similar to our conversation earlier, because I can't see it

1595
01:28:39.880 --> 01:28:43.520
in my head, I have to feel my experience. So

1596
01:28:43.760 --> 01:28:46.760
I'm very much in my body with movies and with

1597
01:28:46.800 --> 01:28:49.159
that kind of stuff, because my head is not playing

1598
01:28:49.159 --> 01:28:52.319
the movie for me. So I would much rather be

1599
01:28:52.359 --> 01:28:56.000
a five for me because it allows me to have

1600
01:28:56.079 --> 01:28:59.359
I have such a visceral reaction to things. This is why, Like,

1601
01:28:59.359 --> 01:29:01.399
like when I worked in magazines and I would like

1602
01:29:01.439 --> 01:29:03.399
be helping with the cover of the magazine, I would

1603
01:29:03.439 --> 01:29:06.600
try to explain that, no, this cover doesn't feel right

1604
01:29:06.600 --> 01:29:09.000
to me. Like I could feel the imbalance in the design.

1605
01:29:09.119 --> 01:29:10.920
I could feel. So it was a lot of like

1606
01:29:11.199 --> 01:29:12.640
people would say like, oh, I don't like the color

1607
01:29:12.640 --> 01:29:14.800
of that font, and I'm like, it feels like it's

1608
01:29:15.199 --> 01:29:18.680
murky or it feels unbalanced. So when you don't have

1609
01:29:18.720 --> 01:29:22.199
the apple, you have to rely so much on your senses,

1610
01:29:22.199 --> 01:29:24.960
and you're yes that I prefer that, so I experience

1611
01:29:25.039 --> 01:29:26.239
things more deeply as a result.

1612
01:29:26.479 --> 01:29:28.000
Yeah, I've just been doing it forever. And then I

1613
01:29:28.199 --> 01:29:31.479
you know, I literally remember people being so mad about

1614
01:29:31.520 --> 01:29:34.119
some character in Harry Potter that got cast and they

1615
01:29:34.159 --> 01:29:35.760
were like, he doesn't even look like him. And I

1616
01:29:35.760 --> 01:29:39.239
remember being like whatever, And now I'm like I didn't

1617
01:29:39.279 --> 01:29:44.239
give a fuck because I couldn't picture him in my brain. Actually, yeah,

1618
01:29:44.239 --> 01:29:45.920
I'm like all right, yeah, yeah.

1619
01:29:46.199 --> 01:29:49.359
So this is from Jenny. Jenny, if your voice had

1620
01:29:49.399 --> 01:29:51.520
its own superpower, what would it.

1621
01:29:51.439 --> 01:29:56.399
Be oh, okay, So how am I interpreting this like

1622
01:29:56.960 --> 01:30:01.760
something that it already has? That like, maybe is already

1623
01:30:01.800 --> 01:30:04.439
a power of mine? Or is it like, can I

1624
01:30:04.439 --> 01:30:06.359
imbue my voice with a superpower?

1625
01:30:07.000 --> 01:30:11.760
You can decide whatever the labyer wants. The labyer gets a.

1626
01:30:14.079 --> 01:30:15.600
I was gonna try and make a Puck joke, but

1627
01:30:15.640 --> 01:30:16.199
I got nothing.

1628
01:30:22.079 --> 01:30:28.079
There we go. I think I would love the ability

1629
01:30:28.119 --> 01:30:33.359
to perfectly mimic anything, like perfect mimicry from what I

1630
01:30:33.479 --> 01:30:36.600
visualize and what I can hear in my head and

1631
01:30:36.640 --> 01:30:40.680
sort of fuel like a one to one translation instantly.

1632
01:30:40.960 --> 01:30:44.199
Because I'm pretty I'm a pretty good mimic. I have

1633
01:30:44.239 --> 01:30:46.239
a natural ability to do that. Like as a musician,

1634
01:30:46.359 --> 01:30:51.119
I sort of operate based on ear and but if

1635
01:30:51.159 --> 01:30:54.079
I were like perfect at it, I feel like that

1636
01:30:54.119 --> 01:30:55.600
would be really fun.

1637
01:30:58.279 --> 01:31:03.000
To power limited can already say it come to your head?

1638
01:31:03.239 --> 01:31:03.880
Yes?

1639
01:31:07.319 --> 01:31:11.039
I love it? I love it all right. Next one

1640
01:31:11.119 --> 01:31:15.319
is from excuse you, Nicole? Are there any soundscapes that

1641
01:31:15.359 --> 01:31:17.840
you haven't done that you would like to try? And

1642
01:31:17.960 --> 01:31:19.720
PS love your sound effects?

1643
01:31:20.439 --> 01:31:26.159
Thank you? Yeah, there are soundscapes I would like to try.

1644
01:31:26.800 --> 01:31:31.560
I don't know if we have enough time to talk

1645
01:31:31.600 --> 01:31:36.399
about all of them basically like like that, it's not

1646
01:31:36.439 --> 01:31:39.399
like I have a list necessarily, Like there's scenarios that

1647
01:31:39.439 --> 01:31:44.199
I'd like to explore. There's you know, like there's technical

1648
01:31:44.319 --> 01:31:46.560
considerations of like i'd love to do one. I think

1649
01:31:46.600 --> 01:31:48.640
I've talked about this maybe once before, but I would

1650
01:31:48.640 --> 01:31:51.199
love to do one in a karaoke bar. I would

1651
01:31:51.239 --> 01:31:56.079
love to do you know, I did, like use audio

1652
01:31:56.359 --> 01:31:59.760
from when I took a flight to France. I did

1653
01:31:59.840 --> 01:32:03.239
use audio from when I was at Lamont in France.

1654
01:32:03.399 --> 01:32:07.239
Like I like, there's sort of an as many soundscapes

1655
01:32:07.279 --> 01:32:10.239
as there are stories because I think each story like

1656
01:32:10.279 --> 01:32:16.279
I'll put it this way, I've never recycled the soundscape. Okay, wow, yeah,

1657
01:32:16.359 --> 01:32:21.439
the only well let me I might have people be like, well, actually,

1658
01:32:24.439 --> 01:32:28.039
when I do when I do like slice of life

1659
01:32:28.720 --> 01:32:31.239
like audios that are set sort of in my own

1660
01:32:31.319 --> 01:32:33.920
place where I'm not specifically trying to evoke like New

1661
01:32:34.000 --> 01:32:38.439
York or whatever, then I use just my my room tone.

1662
01:32:38.920 --> 01:32:46.479
Oh okay, yeah, yea yeah, right. Next question from I

1663
01:32:46.479 --> 01:32:48.399
swear to God you give me the hard ones Lee

1664
01:32:48.520 --> 01:32:54.439
lu hyphen multi pass one. If you had to narrate

1665
01:32:54.520 --> 01:32:58.279
your life for one day, what would your opening line be.

1666
01:33:01.880 --> 01:33:05.000
That's that your answer? Literally, that's your answer.

1667
01:33:05.680 --> 01:33:10.319
I almost always wake up and at a bit of

1668
01:33:10.319 --> 01:33:13.720
as a bit of a deficit. Yeah fuck, he said,

1669
01:33:15.000 --> 01:33:15.840
would be the first one.

1670
01:33:15.960 --> 01:33:21.000
Yes, it's a great word anyway, So it's so versatile.

1671
01:33:21.399 --> 01:33:25.520
I love that word. All right. Question from Katie Mack.

1672
01:33:26.520 --> 01:33:29.880
If your microphone could gossip? What would it say?

1673
01:33:31.439 --> 01:33:32.279
What would you say?

1674
01:33:34.039 --> 01:33:34.760
Like that you're asking?

1675
01:33:34.760 --> 01:33:39.039
You know, I feel like my microphone is has a

1676
01:33:39.079 --> 01:33:42.279
bit of a sass, a bit of a like they're

1677
01:33:42.319 --> 01:33:44.560
a bit like above it all, like they're a little

1678
01:33:44.600 --> 01:33:46.800
I think they're a little I think they're a little

1679
01:33:46.840 --> 01:33:49.560
bit like really audio or on it, like how did

1680
01:33:49.560 --> 01:33:52.479
I end up here? This is This is the microphone

1681
01:33:52.479 --> 01:33:56.800
that Ira Glass uses for this American life. It's not

1682
01:33:56.880 --> 01:34:00.439
a super common mic for like people. Normally people will

1683
01:34:00.479 --> 01:34:03.479
go for like annoyman tl IM one O three for

1684
01:34:03.720 --> 01:34:07.239
doing like like anime and bookwork, and but I chose

1685
01:34:07.279 --> 01:34:11.760
this because it's got a really neutral response. If my

1686
01:34:11.920 --> 01:34:14.439
mic could gossip, I mean my mic was built in

1687
01:34:14.520 --> 01:34:19.880
nineteen ninety seven, right, been around. I would imagine they've

1688
01:34:19.880 --> 01:34:23.680
got some k Yeah, so what would you say? But

1689
01:34:24.079 --> 01:34:26.439
the brand is sure s h U R e. So

1690
01:34:26.479 --> 01:34:28.439
I feel like there's a bit of a like sure.

1691
01:34:28.439 --> 01:34:31.239
Whatever moust you keep spitting on me.

1692
01:34:33.520 --> 01:34:39.920
Or more whichever white swings depending fair, we.

1693
01:34:39.920 --> 01:34:41.399
Have a good relationship, Nomini.

1694
01:34:41.600 --> 01:34:44.119
So thank you for joining us. Mike, there you go.

1695
01:34:44.319 --> 01:34:44.880
Thank all right.

1696
01:34:45.199 --> 01:34:50.439
My last listener question is from Kei Lee Underscore two, two,

1697
01:34:50.520 --> 01:34:54.159
three four. What are some of your comfort movies?

1698
01:34:54.680 --> 01:35:01.399
Okay, So the film Perfect Days by w Wonders from

1699
01:35:02.359 --> 01:35:06.119
two or three years ago is one of the most

1700
01:35:06.159 --> 01:35:12.039
comforting films one can watch. Perfect Days is It's got

1701
01:35:12.159 --> 01:35:17.159
wonderful music. It's like I like it because it is

1702
01:35:17.199 --> 01:35:25.159
a very soothing but also like evocative. Look at what

1703
01:35:25.199 --> 01:35:29.039
it's like to be content in your a loneness. So

1704
01:35:29.199 --> 01:35:33.319
like he's alone, but he's not lonely. He's got like

1705
01:35:33.399 --> 01:35:36.199
his art practice that he doesn't show anybody. He does

1706
01:35:36.279 --> 01:35:38.920
it for himself. We don't know exactly why he's doing it,

1707
01:35:40.479 --> 01:35:43.920
and he he by all accounts, just is a sort

1708
01:35:43.920 --> 01:35:47.760
of contented person who's had a horrible like you know,

1709
01:35:47.960 --> 01:35:50.800
difficulties in their past. He's in his probably late fifties,

1710
01:35:50.840 --> 01:35:54.399
early sixties. That's an age that I have not approached yet.

1711
01:35:54.479 --> 01:35:57.640
So it's like it makes me feel comforted to like,

1712
01:35:58.000 --> 01:35:59.880
I don't know, I think too much, and I think

1713
01:36:00.000 --> 01:36:02.720
about the future, and I think about aging and cycles

1714
01:36:02.760 --> 01:36:06.760
of life and you know, how to fight the hegemony

1715
01:36:06.840 --> 01:36:09.279
and the way that we're supposed to think about, you know, aging,

1716
01:36:09.399 --> 01:36:11.239
and you know, the way that we look and the

1717
01:36:11.239 --> 01:36:12.680
way that we sound, and what we're supposed to have

1718
01:36:12.720 --> 01:36:14.239
at a certain age and what it's supposed to be

1719
01:36:14.359 --> 01:36:17.399
like and blah blah blah. And it's a movie that

1720
01:36:17.920 --> 01:36:21.600
contains all of the things that I think I hold

1721
01:36:21.680 --> 01:36:27.119
most dear when I'm not like in a compari mindset

1722
01:36:27.239 --> 01:36:30.279
or I'm not like trying to be striving. So that's

1723
01:36:30.319 --> 01:36:33.920
it's very comforting in that. In that regard, I'm comforted

1724
01:36:33.960 --> 01:36:37.159
by movies that are really interested in like the messiness

1725
01:36:37.199 --> 01:36:41.760
of people. Yeah, so like The Force Majeure is a

1726
01:36:41.760 --> 01:36:47.560
movie that I love that's like very messy by Nicholas

1727
01:36:47.720 --> 01:36:53.319
Ruben Osland. Oh, the movie Wild at Heart, the David

1728
01:36:53.359 --> 01:36:56.199
Lynch film Wild at Heart, which there I love.

1729
01:36:56.239 --> 01:37:00.800
Wild at Heart from the nineties is fuck yeah.

1730
01:37:01.239 --> 01:37:03.920
I literally have seen it twice in my life, both

1731
01:37:04.000 --> 01:37:08.079
in person screenings because it's it's not been available anywhere.

1732
01:37:08.079 --> 01:37:10.239
You can't like buy it, and now it's finally streaming

1733
01:37:10.239 --> 01:37:12.680
on the Criterion collection. Go check that out.

1734
01:37:14.319 --> 01:37:15.000
That's cool.

1735
01:37:15.439 --> 01:37:18.399
And then I also love like campy moved like Jennifer's

1736
01:37:18.439 --> 01:37:20.840
body is fucking fantastic.

1737
01:37:21.119 --> 01:37:23.079
I don't kill people. I kill boys.

1738
01:37:23.439 --> 01:37:30.800
Precisely, precisely. And then like, uh, like a good like

1739
01:37:31.399 --> 01:37:34.760
one thing that's nice about old films is there dependable,

1740
01:37:34.880 --> 01:37:38.159
So like like a singing in the rain, a fred

1741
01:37:38.239 --> 01:37:41.960
Rogers Ginger fred Astaer Ginger Rogers collapse like pretty much

1742
01:37:41.960 --> 01:37:45.239
anything that they ever did is heat. It's hot, hot heat,

1743
01:37:45.319 --> 01:37:46.800
you know what I mean. So I like to go

1744
01:37:47.199 --> 01:37:50.359
I like to go away into other worlds in that

1745
01:37:50.359 --> 01:37:50.800
way too.

1746
01:37:50.920 --> 01:37:55.079
Yeah, I love that. What what would because you mentioned Miyazaki,

1747
01:37:55.159 --> 01:38:01.680
what's your go to Miyazaki? It's mine howels, Mine's towels.

1748
01:38:02.800 --> 01:38:05.920
So I would. I always go to like Miyazaki fests

1749
01:38:06.199 --> 01:38:09.479
in La every year, and it's like a new one

1750
01:38:09.520 --> 01:38:12.199
will be like oh wow, Like Nawska in the Valley

1751
01:38:12.199 --> 01:38:14.119
of the Wind really hit for me, like I'd never

1752
01:38:14.199 --> 01:38:18.720
seen the the original version, Like that was beautiful, crazy,

1753
01:38:18.880 --> 01:38:22.159
you know, you know, seeing Toto with someone who's never

1754
01:38:22.199 --> 01:38:27.079
seen it is like I would. It's not the most

1755
01:38:27.079 --> 01:38:33.199
comforting for sure, but my entree into Miyazaki was Princess.

1756
01:38:32.800 --> 01:38:37.680
Monronoke is fucking amazing, like.

1757
01:38:37.760 --> 01:38:39.399
Major sexual awakening for me too.

1758
01:38:39.920 --> 01:38:41.800
Yes, oh I can totally see that.

1759
01:38:42.039 --> 01:38:46.199
Yes, okay, yeah, mine was a rocky horshow that was

1760
01:38:46.239 --> 01:38:47.359
my sexual wife.

1761
01:38:48.239 --> 01:38:49.560
Hey, that's amazing too.

1762
01:38:51.119 --> 01:38:54.800
Yes, this has been so lovely, So thank you so

1763
01:38:54.920 --> 01:38:57.520
much for coming on for Yeah, it's really lovely to

1764
01:38:57.560 --> 01:38:57.840
meet you.

1765
01:38:58.640 --> 01:39:01.119
Thank you likewise, and thank you for being again. I'm

1766
01:39:01.119 --> 01:39:03.159
sorry about the scheduling.

1767
01:39:04.359 --> 01:39:08.720
The final question, how would you define sexual freedom?

1768
01:39:10.039 --> 01:39:16.159
Ooh, how would I define sexual freedom? Holy shit, we.

1769
01:39:16.279 --> 01:39:18.199
Like to save the small questions.

1770
01:39:18.439 --> 01:39:21.960
This is what in therapy they would call a doorknob confessional.

1771
01:39:22.119 --> 01:39:22.600
Totally.

1772
01:39:24.520 --> 01:39:25.800
I don't know what that is.

1773
01:39:26.640 --> 01:39:28.119
It's when you were on their way out the door

1774
01:39:28.159 --> 01:39:30.079
and you're like, oh, by the way, they asked for

1775
01:39:30.079 --> 01:39:31.680
a divorce, see you next week.

1776
01:39:33.239 --> 01:39:35.439
By the way, I murdered someone last week.

1777
01:39:35.880 --> 01:39:38.960
Oh okay, I don't know what to do with sorry, yes,

1778
01:39:39.000 --> 01:39:41.560
so doorknob confession? Doorknob?

1779
01:39:42.760 --> 01:39:47.600
Okay, how would I define sexual freedom? Well, and you're

1780
01:39:47.680 --> 01:39:49.560
gonna see like a cross section upon my brain works,

1781
01:39:49.600 --> 01:39:50.640
And I don't know if I want it to be

1782
01:39:50.680 --> 01:39:52.479
this way, But like my instinct is be like, Okay,

1783
01:39:52.520 --> 01:39:59.319
well let's define it socially, culturally, politically, individually. Sexual freedom

1784
01:39:59.520 --> 01:40:03.359
I don't think can be considered outside of like a

1785
01:40:03.359 --> 01:40:10.479
political space because we live in a society. And also

1786
01:40:10.600 --> 01:40:14.319
I think that I tend to index on like the

1787
01:40:16.159 --> 01:40:19.399
like personal experiences of it. So like again, I as

1788
01:40:19.439 --> 01:40:23.359
an artist, I have sort of a mandate to follow

1789
01:40:23.800 --> 01:40:32.039
privacy and insanity, and so I think sexual freedom, sexual freedom,

1790
01:40:32.079 --> 01:40:36.039
sexual freedom, because like, you can have sexual freedom without

1791
01:40:36.079 --> 01:40:40.239
having a sexual partner, but so many parts of sexual

1792
01:40:40.279 --> 01:40:45.960
freedom are like shaped and informed by having sexual partners

1793
01:40:46.039 --> 01:40:48.880
or having it shared with other people. There's a way

1794
01:40:48.920 --> 01:40:52.720
to have freedom, you know, like on the page, you

1795
01:40:52.760 --> 01:40:57.880
can have legal freedoms, let's see. And there's also this

1796
01:40:57.960 --> 01:41:00.920
really sticky big question where like people often talk about

1797
01:41:00.960 --> 01:41:06.159
how they want freedom, and I don't think people want

1798
01:41:06.199 --> 01:41:10.960
freedom most of the time. Like total freedom is chaotic,

1799
01:41:11.399 --> 01:41:20.199
it's dangerous, it's scary, it's ungovernable. And by definition, so

1800
01:41:20.840 --> 01:41:23.399
like often people I think say, and not just in

1801
01:41:23.439 --> 01:41:25.319
a sexual concest I'm talking to talk about in general, like,

1802
01:41:25.319 --> 01:41:27.319
oh I want to be free. It's like, hmm, I

1803
01:41:27.319 --> 01:41:31.600
think you want to be safe. Freedom is not safe

1804
01:41:32.720 --> 01:41:35.399
because then you have the freedom to be shamed, you

1805
01:41:35.439 --> 01:41:37.079
have the freedom to be rejected, you have the freedom

1806
01:41:37.079 --> 01:41:42.119
to be you know whatever. So sexual freedom, I'm so sorry.

1807
01:41:42.119 --> 01:41:44.279
If anyone listened to this and was having fun.

1808
01:41:46.399 --> 01:41:49.039
They still are because they can hear your cogs worrying.

1809
01:41:49.199 --> 01:41:53.239
Yeah, that's the best part. It's like watching the process.

1810
01:41:54.239 --> 01:41:58.640
I think sexual freedom, okay, if I had to distill it,

1811
01:41:59.079 --> 01:42:02.520
and I do, I think sexual freedom to me is

1812
01:42:03.359 --> 01:42:14.640
the freedom to become. Like it's a becoming. It's not

1813
01:42:15.439 --> 01:42:18.920
it's not necessarily it's the it's to be able to

1814
01:42:19.119 --> 01:42:22.960
have access to that process. And I don't even I'm

1815
01:42:23.079 --> 01:42:26.000
like swallowing words because I'm trying to think of like, oh,

1816
01:42:26.479 --> 01:42:31.239
uninhibited access or like unfettered access or but I actually

1817
01:42:31.319 --> 01:42:36.279
think that like bumping up against things can be informative

1818
01:42:36.319 --> 01:42:41.039
and instructive and help you grow. I myself have certainly

1819
01:42:41.079 --> 01:42:43.880
been like sometimes I need things to be a little

1820
01:42:43.880 --> 01:42:48.159
bit difficult so that I understand I care about Like, oh,

1821
01:42:48.560 --> 01:42:51.359
like no, I want that, like I have to do that.

1822
01:42:51.600 --> 01:42:54.119
Oh okay, I don't know if I would know that

1823
01:42:54.159 --> 01:43:00.880
if there wasn't like friction or resistance sometimes, so sexual freedom,

1824
01:43:01.000 --> 01:43:06.600
I think is the allowance for becoming what you are.

1825
01:43:07.319 --> 01:43:10.439
I guess you thought you fought for that. I could

1826
01:43:10.439 --> 01:43:10.880
see it.

1827
01:43:13.119 --> 01:43:17.479
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And you know, I think like and

1828
01:43:17.520 --> 01:43:19.399
I don't even think the intention of the question was

1829
01:43:19.439 --> 01:43:24.399
to necessarily get to a one liner, but it's a

1830
01:43:24.479 --> 01:43:27.000
it's a great question because it's it you really can't

1831
01:43:27.159 --> 01:43:31.279
separate it from because we're I mean, we are social creatures,

1832
01:43:31.640 --> 01:43:35.000
you know, where we are many and we are one.

1833
01:43:35.319 --> 01:43:36.880
We are you can look at it this on all

1834
01:43:37.000 --> 01:43:39.520
and and sex is such an interesting way of like

1835
01:43:40.000 --> 01:43:43.399
expressing that, whether it's the act of intercourse in which

1836
01:43:43.439 --> 01:43:47.640
we're like merging for a moment, you know, which is

1837
01:43:47.640 --> 01:43:50.359
why the orgasm is so interesting, because that's the part

1838
01:43:50.359 --> 01:43:54.119
that's like fetishized the most. But actually oftentimes that's the

1839
01:43:54.119 --> 01:43:57.199
part where like then you split apart because when you're

1840
01:43:57.239 --> 01:44:00.239
done coming, you're like, ah, I'm very mean now, and

1841
01:44:00.279 --> 01:44:04.479
you're very you and you've stopped blending. Yeah, it's really

1842
01:44:04.479 --> 01:44:07.079
interesting to me. So I don't know, what do you

1843
01:44:07.119 --> 01:44:08.760
guys think sexual freedom is it?

1844
01:44:09.119 --> 01:44:13.239
You're not allowed to ask us. We are leading this,

1845
01:44:13.239 --> 01:44:16.920
this is our show. Who do you think you are?

1846
01:44:18.199 --> 01:44:20.560
I'm just I'm just a gelatinous.

1847
01:44:20.079 --> 01:44:25.039
Like you're beautiful gelatinous lay.

1848
01:44:27.000 --> 01:44:29.920
Well. For me personally, sexual freedom is from within. So

1849
01:44:29.960 --> 01:44:32.439
for me, it's you know, being able to like what

1850
01:44:32.479 --> 01:44:37.520
I like with no apology, no like be so confident

1851
01:44:37.760 --> 01:44:43.319
and uh in tune with me that I get to

1852
01:44:43.399 --> 01:44:45.640
just enjoy whatever I want to enjoy without any fear

1853
01:44:45.640 --> 01:44:47.119
of opinion or repercussion.

1854
01:44:47.920 --> 01:44:52.800
Yeah, so that's kind of mine's mind's very literal as well,

1855
01:44:53.000 --> 01:44:56.720
being a like submissive and on the BDSM scene and

1856
01:44:56.760 --> 01:45:01.640
I have masters and sirs and dad and to.

1857
01:45:01.760 --> 01:45:04.960
Be able to I've never ever been able to experience,

1858
01:45:05.600 --> 01:45:09.199
for the majority of my sexually active life, my lifestyle

1859
01:45:09.960 --> 01:45:16.600
without fear of abuse or attack or that. So it's individual,

1860
01:45:16.600 --> 01:45:19.319
isn't it. And that minds a very literal take for me.

1861
01:45:19.800 --> 01:45:22.359
It's just you know, I feel like maybe three years ago,

1862
01:45:22.399 --> 01:45:25.159
before I knew anything about audio erotica, some would be like,

1863
01:45:25.199 --> 01:45:26.479
what are you listening to? And I'd be like a

1864
01:45:26.520 --> 01:45:28.600
little bit I don't want to say shamed, but I'd

1865
01:45:28.640 --> 01:45:31.960
be like hesitant, and now I want to fucking scream

1866
01:45:32.119 --> 01:45:34.159
from the rooftops, you know, be like, oh, let me

1867
01:45:34.239 --> 01:45:36.439
tell you what I'm listening to in my headphone. So

1868
01:45:36.439 --> 01:45:39.239
I think it's like for me, sexual freedom is being

1869
01:45:39.279 --> 01:45:42.319
able within yourself to be like I wanna. I'm proud

1870
01:45:42.359 --> 01:45:44.680
of this. I love this. It feels good and I

1871
01:45:44.720 --> 01:45:46.079
want other people to know it feels good. So I'm

1872
01:45:46.079 --> 01:45:49.159
gonna say whatever I want. So saying whatever you want,

1873
01:45:49.600 --> 01:45:50.880
that's shame for me.

1874
01:45:52.119 --> 01:45:52.479
Shame.

1875
01:45:52.800 --> 01:45:59.439
It's Rae Snaps sees how we do that, Julian Gelatinous Labya,

1876
01:45:59.600 --> 01:46:07.439
how a little much of a pleasure to have you

1877
01:46:07.560 --> 01:46:12.800
in the Queen Cast studio. It's been, it's been, it's

1878
01:46:12.840 --> 01:46:15.479
been been so fun, it's been changing. It's changed me.

1879
01:46:15.880 --> 01:46:17.479
I think it's changed me.

1880
01:46:17.880 --> 01:46:22.600
I so I will leave you all with this. I

1881
01:46:22.600 --> 01:46:26.479
don't really believe in the like introvert extrovert scale so much.

1882
01:46:27.079 --> 01:46:29.800
I had an acting teacher who said that there are

1883
01:46:29.840 --> 01:46:32.520
really only two types of habit, and they're not good

1884
01:46:32.560 --> 01:46:35.399
habits or bad habits. There's habits that give you energy

1885
01:46:35.680 --> 01:46:38.399
and habits that drain your energy. And I feel the

1886
01:46:38.399 --> 01:46:43.199
same is true about people and interactions. And this has

1887
01:46:43.359 --> 01:46:48.640
given me energy where so often things drained me of energy.

1888
01:46:48.680 --> 01:46:50.359
And that doesn't mean I don't love them or like

1889
01:46:50.399 --> 01:46:54.600
things or whatever, but this has fueled me and I

1890
01:46:54.640 --> 01:46:59.880
have enormous roles to take care to today. So thank you.

1891
01:47:00.640 --> 01:47:02.359
Is it a slap shot or is it a slap knot?

1892
01:47:02.960 --> 01:47:07.439
Oh? Oh you got phenomenal wood on that it went

1893
01:47:07.880 --> 01:47:08.560
far down.

1894
01:47:09.039 --> 01:47:14.479
You just pushed us to twenty freaking puno.

1895
01:47:16.000 --> 01:47:17.680
That's top titty if I've ever seen it.

1896
01:47:17.840 --> 01:47:20.359
I'm so proud of us. Look at that ship.

1897
01:47:20.640 --> 01:47:21.560
That is top titty.

1898
01:47:21.760 --> 01:47:23.920
It's ending has been so good. I think my LaBier

1899
01:47:23.920 --> 01:47:24.479
is growing back.

1900
01:47:25.119 --> 01:47:30.319
Oh, welcome back in our labia so powerful.

1901
01:47:30.760 --> 01:47:32.199
Some conversations are.

1902
01:47:32.119 --> 01:47:33.520
People, baby, welcome back.

1903
01:47:34.439 --> 01:47:36.720
Julian conried grew my labia?

1904
01:47:36.800 --> 01:47:39.960
What's that Christmas movie where it's like when you hear

1905
01:47:40.000 --> 01:47:41.239
the bell an angel gets.

1906
01:47:42.880 --> 01:47:44.720
Against Labia when.

1907
01:47:44.520 --> 01:47:45.840
You hear your labia slap?

1908
01:47:46.520 --> 01:47:49.640
Sorry, we're talking about the classic. It's a wonderful life,

1909
01:47:49.640 --> 01:47:50.119
of course, it's.

1910
01:47:50.000 --> 01:47:51.560
A wonderful life. Thank you so much.

1911
01:47:51.760 --> 01:47:59.479
Yes, Julian Kahn, thank you, Thank you. As I said,

1912
01:47:59.479 --> 01:48:02.079
you were welcome back any time, and you can now

1913
01:48:02.199 --> 01:48:03.760
officially funk off.

1914
01:48:04.680 --> 01:48:05.039
Bless you.

1915
01:48:05.720 --> 01:48:06.640
Thank you so much.

1916
01:48:07.279 --> 01:48:12.119
Ttfn ta ta for now gel CAWSI you fucking can't

1917
01:48:12.159 --> 01:48:14.720
you muted me? What is your problem? We never do that?

1918
01:48:14.800 --> 01:48:15.880
You never take away my.

1919
01:48:23.960 --> 01:48:32.319
Shed. You realize.

1920
01:48:29.960 --> 01:48:33.199
That was the most juice.

1921
01:48:35.279 --> 01:48:35.359
Us.

1922
01:48:35.680 --> 01:48:36.279
That was rich.

1923
01:48:36.560 --> 01:48:40.640
That was a rich text. I don't know why, but anyway,

1924
01:48:40.840 --> 01:48:42.520
good energy giving you energy.

1925
01:48:42.640 --> 01:48:45.479
That's what it is, an energy vampire.

1926
01:48:46.239 --> 01:48:50.520
Oh thank God, well, thank you, I really appreciate it. Yeah,

1927
01:48:50.600 --> 01:48:54.119
that was a lot of fun. My favorite. So we

1928
01:48:54.119 --> 01:48:56.319
were able to go everywhere. We used all the colors.

1929
01:48:56.520 --> 01:48:57.640
I hope there we.

1930
01:48:57.600 --> 01:49:12.359
Go, so sweet, yell you too, mister Khan. God that

1931
01:49:12.479 --> 01:49:15.800
was Julian Khan or gelatinous labya.

1932
01:49:18.600 --> 01:49:22.359
I mean how we Hector gets hecky bear and Julian

1933
01:49:22.439 --> 01:49:24.439
gets gelatinous.

1934
01:49:25.199 --> 01:49:27.399
I mean, hey, we all get nicknames too. We have Kaza,

1935
01:49:27.479 --> 01:49:31.439
You're now more Juice. I am now Pemdas and Smudgie

1936
01:49:31.439 --> 01:49:33.800
you are Miriam Webster. We all have our own nicknames.

1937
01:49:34.039 --> 01:49:35.560
And Julian is gelatinous.

1938
01:49:35.600 --> 01:49:35.800
Leave.

1939
01:49:38.640 --> 01:49:41.920
Other than that, the conversation was, God, didn't it go like.

1940
01:49:42.039 --> 01:49:44.000
Here, there, everywhere?

1941
01:49:44.039 --> 01:49:46.680
I loved it, But it was like it wasn't like

1942
01:49:47.279 --> 01:49:49.640
somehow it didn't feel disjointed, even though it was all

1943
01:49:49.680 --> 01:49:51.840
over the place, like there's just I don't know, he

1944
01:49:51.960 --> 01:49:56.199
like weaves this thread through all of these different topics. Yeah,

1945
01:49:56.319 --> 01:49:57.880
it was it was just cool. It was fun.

1946
01:49:57.920 --> 01:50:00.199
It was absolutely so much fun to talk to him.

1947
01:50:00.199 --> 01:50:03.079
I'm so glad we finally got to and I already want.

1948
01:50:02.600 --> 01:50:04.760
Him back on I know, sorry, it's take. It took

1949
01:50:04.840 --> 01:50:06.720
so long, I means so long to get the schedule

1950
01:50:06.800 --> 01:50:09.800
to work, but we're glad we're finally able to make

1951
01:50:09.840 --> 01:50:10.319
it happen.

1952
01:50:11.439 --> 01:50:13.479
And onwards and up puts to the next one, to

1953
01:50:13.560 --> 01:50:14.239
the next one.

1954
01:50:14.399 --> 01:50:18.560
So thank you Julian, thank you Pemdas, thank you Mary

1955
01:50:19.000 --> 01:50:22.760
Day Webster, and thank you Cliticens for listening to another

1956
01:50:22.800 --> 01:50:24.960
episode of Hit the Spotlight. And we'll be back with

1957
01:50:25.000 --> 01:50:28.279
you with another great episode soon. But for now, this

1958
01:50:28.319 --> 01:50:31.399
has been most juice. Your voice matters.

1959
01:50:32.000 --> 01:50:34.159
This has been Pendask go put those lips to good use.

1960
01:50:34.920 --> 01:50:38.439
And this has been Merry and Webster, Keep one King,