S5 E62 - The Truths About A 'Touchy' Subject

0:00 Hey, this is Kazza. This is Jules. And this is Smudge. You're listening to Quincast, where we have chats about audio erotica and empowerment through desire. And we take you behind the scenes with the pros shaping the industry. Settle in. Things are about to get spicy and uncensored. As always, big love to our sponsor, Betty, of WhatBettyMade.com. She makes amazing stickers. And yes, there's a whole Quincast collection made just for you. Cute, chaotic and dangerously easy to justify buying. Check her out at whatbettymade.com Hello ladies, how are we both feeling today?

1:00 Uh, you know what, Smudgy? I had kind of an odd day today. I don't really know what's going on. I did a few things, and all of a sudden, my palms are hairy. I don't know if you can see where you are, but my palms are hairy. I know! What's going on? What is... I am having a strange day as well. My palms are not hairy, thank God, but I was doing some things this morning, and my... I don't have great vision to begin with, but it suddenly got so worse. Like, I think I'm going blind. Can you see me? I'm over here, Kazza. Over here. No. What? I think you are both a pair of wankers. We're a pair of wankers? You are. And I think.

1:41 How do you know what we did this morning? Oh, my gosh. Well, because you're blind and you've got hairy palms. So, clear signs that you are masturbating. Oh, my gosh. I completely forgot that masturbation... That's what causes that. Oh my gosh, I can't believe that. Who would have thunk it? Masturbation can cause blurred vision, sweaty palms, and by the way, this is satire. Guys, we have got... Clitizens, we've got a packed episode for you. So our episode today is inspired by No Nut November. We're getting into the topic that's part of lots of conversations in the audio erotica space, masturbation.

2:24 We'll swap stories about what we were told growing up, play a little myth or fact, revisit some iconic pop culture moments, and talk about the internet's favorite November challenge. And yes, we'll each confess whether we'd make it to December. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. I'd rather be wanking, to be honest. I would like my eyesight to sharpen. Yeah, I was going to say, apparently Kaz and I already took care of that today, you know, with these side effects we're having. Oh, God. Are we actually going to do the No Nut November? Do you need to know now? So I can prepare. Never in a billion years am I going to participate in No Nut November. I would be such a cranky bitch. No, not happening.

3:08 No, not doing it. So if anyone, though I doubt it, is not familiar with No Nut November, it's an internet challenge. No orgasms for the whole month of November. It's mostly men. It's mostly a joke. Yeah. So that's what inspired this episode. We're like, oh, it's a November episode. Let's talk about No Nut November, which then went, nah, what's better? Masturbation. Masturbation. Much better. Oh, monster bites. Did you guys know, though? This was so funny. Did you know that there's like a serious alternative to No Nut November called NoFap? Walt. What? This is, I swear to God, this is a serious thing. I mean, it's ridiculous, but it's serious. There is a group.

3:52 This all started on Reddit, the No Nut November. No Nut November started because it was like a joke response to NoFap. NoFap is a group of men who believe you should not masturbate because if you save up your semen, you're more masculine, you're smarter. Forever? Like blue balls? Never wank? Never wank. Not wanking, no. To only save it for procreation. So it believes that abstaining gives you, like, superpowers, but science isn't. Oh, my God. So there'd be lots of, like, men going into phone booths and coming out dressed like Superman, but be called a masturbation man or something. Jesus.

4:33 But it's superpowers. What is so ironic is, like, the science actually shows that frequent ejaculation can lower prostate cancer. Yes! Fact. And there's also other medical studies about how I can't speak for women on this, but for men, masturbation, it helps decrease like aggressive type hormones and feelings that they have more of. That makes sense. There was some scary shit going on back in like the 17th, 18th centuries about masturbation. They created, I've seen them in museums, they created these like jagged edge spiky things that went on to men's cocks to stop them from masturbating because it would just scrape and... And, like, obviously caused some serious problems.

5:19 Oh, my God. Is this where cock rings come from? I mean, it's like the male version of the chastity belt. Yes. That's what it was. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's exactly what it is. That's crazy. But can I just say, the no nut, and I'm not saying that this is fact, so do not fact check me ever on this show, to be honest, Clitson. You're right. Don't ever do it. However, so ancient Egyptian mythology, right? They kind of gave masturbation a kind of creative role, you know, with their gods and stuff like that. So in one version... Falico. Falico, Falico, fetch me my bees. Fetch me my bees. Exactly.

6:01 Give me my bee vibrator. Now, I'm just trying to work out whether this is where it came from. So in one version of the creation story, the god Atum, A-T-U-M, Atum... produces the deities Shu and Tefnut. Shut up. I threw masturbation. So Atom wanks and produces from his semen the deities Shu and Tefnut. Nut. Is that where it comes from? That came up on an ancient Egyptian masturbation site. Who knew they were there? Who knew those sites were out there? So maybe it was no Tefnut November. And we just shortened it.

6:42 Because you know how we like to shorten things. Name of the episode right there. No Nut November. The end. Have you guys heard about Destroy Dick December? No. Destroy Dick. I think I should have heard of that being said. I appreciate the alliteration again. It's like this whole joke about how if you lasted all of November not masturbating. particularly for men, then the challenge was you go into December and it's called Destroy Dick December. Because it multiplies. So like on December 1, you wank once. On December 2, you wank twice. Oh my God, 31st.

7:22 New Year's Eve is going to be a corker. Well, I mean, according to all of the stories, right? Like it's men just have to. They have to. They have to empty themselves. Otherwise it'll just be. It'll just mayhem. Is that what happens? Otherwise, they'll start wars and... Oh, no, wait a minute. Sorry, it's already happened. Oh, that's already happened. There we go. There we go. Oh, my God. Maybe Trump just needs to wank. Instead of just being a wanker. Instead of just being a wanker. But I gotta say, I think, I think I could go a month. Oh, I could. I could just, like, Guys, I'm the most dopamine-seeking girl ever.

8:05 There's no fucking way I could go more than two weeks. Yeah, there have been periods of my life where I've gone a year. Yeah, before I ever did it, I was years. No, after I've done it, there's been periods of my life where, yeah. Just weren't into it. Yeah, I kind of need... I don't need, I don't ever need to do it. Yeah. I don't ever feel like massively horny to do it. I probably have masturbated more with a partner in the room than I ever have on my own. Although, I have to say, I had one time, and this was when I was, well, I'm still in perimenopausal, for fuck's sake. Fucking hell.

8:52 I think I was. I don't know if I was. On HRT at that point, hormone replacement therapy. I can't remember, but there was a day, and I swear to God, it just happened once that I thought, this is what men feel like when they have to wank. Oh, yes. I was like, I remember I said to Missy, I go- I know what they mean now when they say they're going to bust a nut. Like I got to take care of business because I got to do it. Oh my God. It was like, yeah, it literally was like, this is what guys talk about. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's interesting. I think actually, if I think back on it, if, I mean, there's certain, I know there's certain medications that can make your desire, you know, when I, you know, I used to take meds and I'd be like, I'll get the hell away from you.

9:35 I don't want anyone touching me, let alone myself, you know, like see what, for me, See, I don't want to say it's like I have to do it, but you guys already know this. I've talked about this a million times. I hate edging. So I just try to like get it done quickly, which I know is not the most fun thing in the world. So I'm probably missing out. I know. I get told all the time by people. But I feel like it's almost like I know now how how I can do it to be done in like under 10 minutes. And then I can just like go on with my day and be like, ah, it was. Nice because 10 minutes. 10 sounded like a long time. When I need to 10 seconds. Okay, good. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I thought when you said 10 minutes and I was like, and your face looked a bit like you wasn't sure like whether you was, saying something good or whether you were saying something bad and i was thinking if i was a man i would be well suffering from premature ejaculation because it you know i only had my first multiple orgasm like maybe eight months ago.

10:34 Oh fuck yeah really really from from masturbation. Yeah i was listening to a specific audio like a assisting self-help oh yeah Yeah. Multiple O audio. That was the intention of the audio. Yeah. Okay. So he has like a multiple O relaxation meditation into your body, blah, blah, blah. First time ever I had a multiple orgasm and it was three within probably about 30 seconds. Oh my God. What? What? I know. And the audio was Orcus. What's the name of the audio for our clitoris instance? Yeah, it's called Surrender and it's on Quinn. Oh. Well, that's easy enough to remember. There you go. I'll put it in the show notes too.

11:16 But I've gone through all my life having one orgasm. And do you know what it is? I think I've always watched a man have an orgasm and then that's it. It's over. Yeah. So I think I trained my brain to go one and done. Okay. Yes. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, probably. But yeah, I think you're right, Smudge. And because it just talks about the goal is to reach the climax and to have that orgasm. It's this finish line that, yeah, one and done. I can see why you thought that. Yeah. And now I know that that's not the be all and end all. The art of masturbation, the art of self-pleasure is the pleasure. It's the whole thing. I'm the same, Carrie.

11:59 I can have moments where I've gone, oh, my God. I need to crack one out. Oh, yeah. Like now. You know? Yeah. Let's go. And, you know, seconds. That's all it takes. Seconds. I used to be seconds, but no, it's longer now. Not anymore. Do you reckon there's a change in your body or your mental state for that? Oh, no. I think it's probably an age thing. Yeah. Yeah? I think so. But it's like, it's funny because it's like, I feel like I'm having better orgasms now than I did when I was younger. Yeah. because I think because they're not super quick. Cause I was super quick. It was like, same thing, like a couple seconds, like done, like done in like fast, fast, fast. But now that they have to build, it feels like a deeper, more intense orgasm. Then it's almost, it almost feels like it would be like a vaginal orgasm versus a clitoral orgasm, even though I'm just doing clitoral stimulation.

12:54 Yeah. Like it's like, I can feel it building and it's like, so yeah, it's, it's better. Like, You got to have more patience, but man, is it worth it? I got to do that. Yeah. I mean, other than my early teenage years, yeah, between the ages of whatever, seven to 16, those were my years that I had masturbatory fun. And then I went on a massive dry spell of probably 20 years. No orgasms for 20 years. For 20 years? No masturbating for probably 10 of those. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I was in relationships where they didn't care and my pleasure wasn't prioritized. And I just, I felt like, you know, they were very much like, Oh, if you're wanking or whatever, you know, then you obviously don't find me sexually attractive and stuff like that. So I really would love to us to talk about how masturbation with partners can be, you know, seen as a negative by the partner. It can be seen as negative by you because of how your partner might feel if you're masturbating to, other things other than them you know or coming while they're not in the room how do you guys you're both in relationships i'm not how how's your thought process.

14:07 It's on it so it's never i it's never been an issue in my relationship but i do remember watching tv shows and things where they even sitcoms where they'd make jokes and be like oh but doesn't your partner you know aren't they worried you know that's that machine's gonna replace them and then it just it gets in your head you know you it does it gets in your head you're like oh my gosh maybe it should be something that like I'm thinking about, but I will say up until Quinn, we didn't really use very many, maybe one or two in 20 years. But, and then again, like we always say with Quinn, you know, I started being like, all right, let's have a little bit of an adventure, you know? And so that was when though I had like the open communication thing. It was like, what do you think about this? And he, and happily he was, he was good with it.

14:49 I always think that there is a very much a link for, women especially, to make sure that our partner doesn't feel inadequate in whatever sex or gender that they are. We just don't want them to feel like they don't do things for us. I still kind of understand how some guys might be like, what the hell? Because, my God, going into some of those, like, porn stores, like, Amazings, or sometimes they will have, like, dildos that are, like, 12 inches long. And so, you know, you'll go in, and if a guy was there, I could see them being like, oh... oh, she's not going to let, you know, that just, that, I'm not saying that's what's going to happen, but that's maybe their way of thinking. Like, I don't have an 11 inch penis. Like, she's going to use that and not want to be with me. So I can, I can see how that would be a thing you'd think about. But then obviously if you, you know, actually do a little research and all of that, you know, none of that's true.

15:45 But yeah. And I think that, I don't know if the man's threatened by a toy, work on yourself, pal. Exactly. Like there's more to it. Like it's not, it's not your partner's job to make you feel confident. It's not their job to make you feel not great, but it's like, listen, if that's going to, if that 15 inch dong is going to threaten your masculinity. I sometimes think that there's the masturbation for a lot of people is more about the secrecy and the quiet, private moment rather than it is to masturbate with some with somebody because you're always from an early age you hide it right you don't sit there in the living room watching fucking you know cartoons.

16:32 Mork and Mindy. Mork and Mindy. Nanu Nanu with your fingers. Nanu Nanu. Nanu Nanu. Scissor fingers. You know everything you do with regards to masturbation is done in secret, right? When you're younger and you're growing up, you don't really tell people that what you're doing in the privacy of your own bedroom, you know, as a teenager or whatever. Um, and I think some of that tracks into your adult life where it still feels wrong or shameful, or this is something that I just keep to myself. Yeah. There's always shame around it. Oh yeah. I completely agree. I mean, I have been, I haven't been religious in 25 years, um, And every now and then I still get like a weird shame feeling and I'm just like, what the fuck is this? Like, I got rid of you 25 years ago. It's like ingrained.

17:19 It really is sometimes. Well, and also, you know, when growing up, like you only hear about men masturbating. Oh, yeah. Never women. Because it's, you know, whether it's like jokes about it or like, you know, you're raised, you know, you're going to get hairy palms or you're going to go blind or. All that stuff that they would say. But not even as a joke, there was no talk about female masturbation. It's just all about like, oh, men, yeah, they do that because they have to. Oh, once they're 13 years old, they'll be taking extra long showers, and that's why. It was just so presented as a natural part of their evolution, of their growing up. It was rites of passage. It's just... yeah jokes were made about it but it was just kind of like a well yeah of course they do that.

17:59 But I didn't hear things like flick the bean or anything until I was way into my mid to late. 30s yeah oh same I didn't I didn't either I knew what a wet dream was before I even knew about how to pleasure myself like I heard about what happens to guys when they you know get to a certain age like yeah yeah it was like when. Am I gonna get you know hard and crusty socks. It's so unfair it's so unfair. It's so unfair it's yeah because it was just all all about men and their wieners it's like i may have told you guys this before but like i grew up in a neighborhood of all boys oh god i was like the only girl really oh my god yeah full of kids and there was lots of like cops and robbers and football and all these kinds of things that i would play Well, I would watch, like, we would be playing, like, baseball or kickball, and I would watch the guys go over to the bush and pee. Yeah.

18:52 Because they didn't want to go. And I'm like, so, as a young girl, I'm like, well, I guess I can do that, too. I go over to the bush, and I'm like, I'm soaked. So I'm, like, rushing home and putting stuff in the washing machine. I'm like, why can they do it and I can't do it? Because mom is time for the talk now about plumbing. Because. Yeah, but you were 26 at the time. You were still on mom's insurance at that point. So, yeah. So what are the facts do we know about wanking? So, well, so I want to bring up really quickly and it has to do with pop culture, but also kind of the first time I really realized about masturbation. So I watched Pleasantville. Do you guys ever see the movie Pleasantville?

19:35 Oh, yeah. Tobey Maguire's in it, Reese Witherspoon, Paul Walker. Oh, my God. His most handsome character. And it's literally about just like 90s kids and they get sucked back into the 50s in a like absolutely perfect town. a scene where the mother goes into the bathtub after her daughter explains to her what masturbation is because this perfect town you don't have any of that stuff in it and so the entire world is black and white so the woman goes into the bathtub and she's playing with herself but everything starts turning to color As she's doing this. So it was like one of the first times it was in a good way seeing a woman pleasuring themselves.

20:15 Fucking awesome. Because it was like a symbol of liberation. Yeah. You know? Like you literally brought color into the world. I don't want a rainbow coming out of my cunt. Right? Please. But really a positive depiction of female masturbation. Because if you think about it, think about movies, think about TV shows with that. A lot of times... Male masturbation is seen as funny. Think about American Pie. Oh, guys do this all the time. So we're just going to crack a joke at it. So just like you said, Smudgy, I didn't actually masturbate until high school. So I was about 15. But then I went to public school and I started learning a few things. And, you know, and then you start, you know, your brain, you start thinking like, okay, maybe this isn't as bad. And so I was just like, oh, so that's what I've been doing when I've been like, touching myself i've been doing that and that's what guys do and that was like 10th grade so i was like 15 before i ever had like a proper orgasm that i gave myself yeah like you.

21:15 Said the boys used to talk about it at school about wanking going behind the bike sheds and having a fag and having a wank you know before maths class or something you know i mean i'm not going to bring it up too often but i'm going to bring it up again gummy biscuit they all stand in a line they've got the cocks out they're wanking onto a biscuit for god's sake that's how little they give a shit about wanking that's how absolutely ingrained it is in men and boys that it's okay to do. It no shame no shame they're all standing in a line wanking yeah there's no shame at all. And i don't think we have still have that now and it's quite open now i still don't think it's anywhere near No. As acceptable.

21:57 No, because I think, no. No. For us. No. No. For us, it's. Talked about more because of the world we're in. You know, what we podcast about, the audio erotica space that we're all in. Right. Because when I talk to people outside of this world, friends or family, no. I mean, again, they'll make jokes about men masturbating. the jokes of course but there's really yeah no there's never talk about it outside of the AE space in my world. Still no still no when I can come out to my mother as a submissive person within the BDSM lifestyle but I still can't tell her that I masturbate that's how I know there's a problem still.

22:41 Oh that's so Jesus yes how yeah. It's weird that isn't it yeah I would never have a conversation with my mother about wanking yeah but I can say You know, I'm a submissive mum and yeah, I like pain and, you know, degradation and things. She didn't know what degradation was. I had to explain it to her. That was an interesting conversation. But I can talk to her about that, but not about masturbating. And I think it's because masturbating is something that I assume that she did or maybe hasn't done. Whereas I know being a submissive in a BDSM world, she has no concept of what it actually is, but masturbation she does. So it's kind of, She knows what I'm talking about.

23:23 She knows what you're admitting to or whatever. Yes. Okay. And then it probably brings up her own internalized shame. Yes. Yeah. I mean, the only time I remember kind of being like publicly joked about is this is a Seinfeld episode, The Contest. This was back in back in 92. So like the whole gang bets on who can hold out the longest. But literally the word is never said in the whole episode. Okay. it's but it gave us master of my domain like that whole expression people say like i'm the master of my domain like that's the whole like i can not masturbate but elaine had to put up more money than the guys did for the bet because they said it was easier for women to not wank so she had to put. Up more money than the guys i forgot about that.

24:05 Yeah yep and then 98 sex in the city um with charlotte I mean, come on, the turtle in the hair, the episode? With the rabbit? She gets a rabbit and, like, literally stops leaving her house. So the girls had to have an intervention and be like, you need to leave your house. You need to touch grass, love. Hello? Harry, it's Charlotte. Oh, I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to cancel. Yeah, I'm totally wiped out. Uh-huh. Wiped out. That was Charlotte speak for I'm spending the night with my vibrator. So this was for a lot of women. This was like the first time that TV treated a toy as like normal and fun and funny. Like there was jokes made around it. So it was like that female masturbation was being joked about in that way. So I'm like, OK, maybe we're getting somewhere. But then it was 98. Here we are now. It's like doesn't feel much different.

24:56 Also. over your way guys in 1994 president bill clinton let's talk about masturbation it's like he's wanted um requested surgeon general jocelyn elders resignation after controversy over her suggestion that masturbation could be addressed in and should be addressed in sex education so in 1994 a woman got fired over wanting over masturbation yep not actually over over the subject matter so that's not that long ago guys. You know in preparation for this episode I asked a bunch of people in like the online communities that we're in I messaged with friends of mine just to ask people like did you ever hear about masturbation growing up female masturbation and do you remember the first time you did it or whatever and every single one I think one person only one person was like oh yeah I totally knew what it was You know, I read the book Joy of Sex. It was on my parents' nightstand.

25:58 I picked it up and read it. And her parents were very open. And so there was just a very open household. So there was no shame and no secrecy. That was out of maybe 10 or 15 people that I talked to. And everyone's same thing was like, oh God, no, we never talked about that. Such shame. So all of these people were raised, I mean, just not talking about it, but again, talking about men. But I thought I was raised in a very open... house when it came down to how my mum talked to us and gave us freedom to talk about what we needed to talk about but it was only about sex never once did she ever talk to us about masturbation it was just about sex with a partner a partner never went into how as a as a as a girl you can experience and they're going into womanhood as as self-pleasure because yeah well but i guarantee you my dad had the conversation with my brother about wanking.

26:54 Yeah Yeah, pleasure's never a part of it. Our clit is literally for only pleasure. Yeah, and that's, like, double the amount of nerve endings as the penis. Which they just discovered, like, last year. Which it was gonna say, we've only just discovered scientifically what it actually fucking, an organ. Fuck off. But yeah, that's, I mean, that's the other thing, is, like, even what sex said growing up, like, a lot of the people that I was talking, that I was talking to said it was just all very, like, biological. It was just, like, it was just the biology of it, like, your, um, sexual organs and then you know procreation all that kind of stuff but very clinical like never no words about pleasure and that there's no there's no joy in it there's just yeah it's just what you do it's.

27:39 Just what you it was originally that's what sex sex was only about procreation sex baby yep i. Don't remember any of my friends ever saying anything about masturbating no Nothing. No, me neither. Yeah. And even so, like, I mean, the way I was raised, like the people who were having sex, you were like, oh, those were those people. Oh, yeah. I remember standing outside of my CCD, my Catholic. I don't even know what it stands for, Jules. Do you know what it stands for? I forget. Oh, my God. It's like Catholic class. Yeah. I didn't go to a Catholic school, but there's a thing called CCD where you study the Bible and it's to prep for confirmation. It's a whole Catholic thing. But I remember standing outside waiting for my CCD class to begin and a friend of mine, so I was probably 15 or 16, a friend of mine whispers in my ear, I let my boyfriend finger me last night. And I was like, I physically stepped away from her. And I was like, oh my God. And I immediately felt shame for even having heard the words, shame for knowing. Like that she just literally poured sin all over me. And I was like, what do I do? This is a friend of mine. Like she's like, and I'm like, oh my God, can I still be friends with you? It was like a big deal.

28:53 Jesus Christ. I'm still friends with her to this day. I'll have to remind her of that. You have to. No, you have to. Yeah. Masturbation upsetting God. I pissed God off only twice yesterday. So he can fuck off. Smite me, almighty smiter! But I can remember I was in like eighth grade and I was starting to just think about how things worked. And I told one of my friends that I think I'm going to probably kiss a boy before I get married. She walked over to a bush and threw up when I told her that. Because you're going to kiss a boy. Because I was going to kiss a boy before I get married. All right. So apparently even that brings shame. It's so amazing how deep you settled down. Like the religious shame can go.

29:36 Is your love how deep is your love is your love how deep. Is your love like the religious trauma is no joke it's like no so many people in these communities like with her people say like oh my god I had such shame around this or religious trauma that this space is helping to heal. Yeah I wonder if people have our era you know in our 40s and 50s do you think that we are talking to our daughters about masturbation i don't. Think it's i still don't think it's part of it and we're talking like gen a at this point yeah i should have asked my sisters if they had talked to their daughters but i know i can tell i don't have to ask them no because again how we were raised and where we live like no so for us no but i don't think.

30:26 I don't think so do you think you ever will be I hope so. I hope it is. I really hope so. Do you think, I mean, do you think dads are talking about it with their sons? Absolutely. Oh, God, yes. That's been going on for fucking centuries. Sorry, but it has. Yeah, absolutely. Just because you have an appendage. Sorry that it, like, sticks out. Jesus. Fucking hell, man. I mean, I hope, I mean, you know, this might be a little bit ambitious, but I hope that Part of the work we're doing here on the podcast is like, you never know who's going to listen, right? That maybe someone could listen and go, oh, maybe I will talk to my daughter about it. Or maybe someone will say, I'm going to ask my mom about it. It's like get to know your body. I remember in sex ed in college, our homework assignment was to go home and stand over a mirror. Oh, okay, yeah.

31:13 And look at yourself. Because she was like, you need to know your body. You need to know what it looks like. And I was like, of course, I didn't do the assignment. So I'm like, no, no, no. You're like, I don't want to look at that thing. No, I'm like, that's dirty. That's bad. But same thing. I loved that idea when I think back to it now. I was like, yeah, get to know your body. Look at it. Feel around. Look and see what's going on down there. I do hope, on a serious note, I do hope that conversations start being had about women and pleasure because it's okay talking about sex if it's perfunctory and just like i'm just gonna have a baby that's fine all right i'm not saying that you should stop that but on top of that conversation the little icing on top of that little cake is telling people that their bodies are pleasurable their bodies can produce pleasure it's not just about sex for the man Because I still think those conversations happen. I'm sorry, they just do.

32:10 Completely agree. That women are not supposed to have an orgasm. All about having babies is the man orgasms. The man ejaculates. Yes. And you're just the receptacle. Yeah. I'm just going to start a rumor that says now you can't get pregnant unless the woman comes as well. Pass it on. There you go. Pass it on. Pass it on. Because I do remember hearing, again, I don't know if it's an actual thing or a myth, but I do remember hearing people say like, well, like there's a better chance of having a baby if you have an orgasm. Like there's a better chance at conception. I don't know why that would. I don't know. Yeah, I generally don't think there's any medical fact to it. However, I would like to think that, you know, we have cleverer children because we have an orgasm too.

32:57 There you go. And please don't fact check me again. Never fact check you. I will never fact check you. Wait, this is going to be random. Do you guys remember like the actual first time you ever did? Like to an end. Like to an end. Purposely. Yeah, purposely. Not just like exploring or being like, oh, this is a spark I didn't know felt like actually made yourself come. Yes. Nope. Smajji, what was yours? Yeah, let's hear it Smajji. There was several years in my teenage years where I didn't have to touch myself to have an orgasm. So I don't know. I genuinely don't know if this is going to end up on the editing floor. I'll tell you that now. So this is... I used to have an orgasm every time I went for a poo.

33:43 Oh. Really? Okay. I can see those muscles. Not while I was on the toilet, obviously. But after, I would... feel horny and I would go and lay down on my front somewhere and just tense and I would have an orgasm. Wow. The body is a marvel. Yeah, but I actually think that makes a lot of sense. Think about the muscles you use. Some people love to. Have a poop. My God. Some people, they enjoy it. Similar muscles in that area. Yeah. I thought you meant on the toilet, so I'm glad you clarified that. No, no. I would have, like, go to the toilet, and then I would get off, and I would feel, like you said, I think, and then I would get off. But I didn't need to touch myself. I would just, I knew if I laid on my stomach on the floor and tensed, squeezed my leg together, I.

34:42 Would have an orgasm. And I did it for years, like, I used to lay there, go for a light in the morning, and then go and eat my cornflakes on the living room floor on my stomach, reading a magazine, and I'd. Have an orgasm. While you're laying there eating your cornflakes? While I'm laying there with my parents in the room. I. Am I weird? No! No, no. All right, say that. Have you ever heard of anybody else, like, have that? Well, do you, I mean, people don't talk about it, so we don't know. Were you so excited every time you had to poop? I was just going to ask that. I mean, I'm not going to say it happened every single 100% of the time. Okay. But it happened often enough. Did you look forward to pooping?

35:23 Yeah. I mean, I can remember, yeah, I can remember having a poo, because I don't care where I poo. If you've got a poo, you've got a poo, right? Please give me that, Jesus. I don't care where I poo, right? So I used to work... I used to work at KFC, right? And I was an assistant manager and I had a poo while I was at work one day and there was nobody else in the, we hadn't opened the doors yet. And I laid down, there's cameras, right? I laid down behind the front counter. Yeah, behind the front counter where I was serving, where the tills are. I laid down on the floor. I love this so much. Oh my God, KFC, Kegels for cunt.

36:11 Kegels for coming. And I got up and I was like, I mean, it's not the first time. I probably did that, I don't know, maybe 30, 40 times while I worked there. Not in one night, but you know. So you literally did come on company time. I came on company time, yeah. But sometimes it was so, the urge was so intense to have an orgasm that it didn't matter where I was. I would make an excuse to lay down. I pretended to faint one day. This keeps getting better and better. Best story I've ever heard. Honestly. I'm in my chaise lounge. I was like, I feel really dizzy. I need to lay down. And I was like, lay down on your side.

36:55 I was like, I need to lay down on my front. Wait. I'm going to feel better. Wait a minute. Is this why back in the day, women always said, oh, I'm going to faint. That's exactly why. Because they just had a poo. Yeah, that's what it is. But just to show how different people's masturbatory journeys are. I'm sure there are thousands of people listening to this podcast who have different weird and wonderful stories about how they masturbated. Criticists, share with us if you. For the love of God, somebody else should. If you have dropped to the floor of.

37:35 A KFC. On your stomach and had an orgasm, please write to us. And let us know. You know, sometimes I know my life is ridiculous and then sometimes I think of things that have happened to me and I go, my life is just one massive, ridiculous book of stupid stuff, but That's how I explored. You know, we'll never look at KFC the 6th again. So, Smudgy, I'm not like similar with that, the number two thing, but mine also is kind of bathroom related because obviously like showerhead stuff. Where my shame started is I remember watching a cartoon and in the cartoon, one of the cartoon people gets in trouble and they get spanked in the cartoon. And I fucking loved it. And I was like, oh, something's weird. Something's wrong with me.

38:28 Something's wrong with me. And I loved it. And then I went to the shower and I was thinking about it and I was like, why the fuck did I like that so much? Oh my God. And then I was using my little shower head and then I like was using it. And then I was like, what the fuck was that? But then I realized that my shower head just, it wasn't as mobile as I was hoping it would be. So I hung it back up and I was like, you know what? We're going to try something. So I literally like laid in my tub and put my like self underneath the faucet. like my feet up on the wall. I'm pretty sure by the end of like, three years, because I did this for a really long time, I'm pretty sure I had, like, foot imprints on the wall. Like, I'm pretty sure. And you were full of water. And I was full of water. You were always bloated. I was always. God, look at that.

39:12 Look at that. Look at that. Bloated, blurred vision, hairy palms. Goddamn. Goddamn. But I remember, like, because Smudgy, when you said, like, you tensed and you, like, knew to do it. Yeah. It was like instinctual. I remember being like, what if I tighten up when I'm underneath? the water? And it was like, bam. Oh, my word. Oh, Lord. There were some confessions, weren't there? Who knew this was going to be that type of episode? I mean, we got to get some clitoris and confessions. I mean, it can't just be us. Look how vulnerable we're being. But yeah, but also on a serious note, you know, everybody is different. Everybody's sexual journey is different. Masturbation journeys. It's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed by. It's the first time I've openly said it to Kazza and Jules.

39:56 And I'm saying it on a podcast. If we can't lead the way. Yep. How do we show the way? If you go to our website, quincast.com, you can leave a voicemail anonymously. You can. You can even put on a weird voice so we don't know who it is if we know you. Spill the beans. Spill the beans about how you flick the bean. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Kazza, I actually want to hear about a few of your myths. Okay. So, you could buy a vibrator... From the Sears catalog in the early 1900s. Okay, I'm going to say yes. I'm going to say yes, but it was marketed as like a massager.

40:36 Exactly. Oh! Electric vibrators were marketed as health and massage devices alongside ordinary household appliances. Grandma may have ordered one alongside her sewing supplies. Of course, Grandma. Oh, Grandma, we love you. Grandma, we love you. Grandma, we do. Grandma. Grandma. We kind of touched on this too, but not extensively. Only humans masturbate. Myth or fact? Myth. Myth. I read it that penguins do. Primates, dolphins, deer, even some birds. And, although they're obviously humans, but fetuses have been shown touching themselves on ultrasounds.

41:18 Oh, I love that. I know, baby masturbators. Baby wankers. Jules Willis' trauma just came up against her face. You have original sin in the womb. Oh my word. Well, this one we've talked about kind of extensively, but I thought it was like 100% fact, so spoiler alert, it's not. Victorian doctors invented the vibrator to treat hysterical women. Probably a myth. It says it's a famous story that inspired a book and a movie, but there's little actual evidence to prove it definitively. Is that to treat hysteria, they didn't go to see a doctor who masturbated them, ranked them?

42:02 Doctors didn't invent vibrators to treat. Vibrators, right. That doesn't mean they didn't manually. They manually stimulated. That's what I was trying to say. So they still did manually stimulate, according to legends. According to legends. Okay, the final one. Kellogg's Corn Flakes were connected to a campaign against masturbation. True. 100% true. It's true. John Harvey Kellogg was an intense anti-masturbation crusader who believed bland food curbed lust. So Corn Flakes came out of his health sanitarium's bland diet. Never eating them again. I do like them, but never eating them again. When you mentioned Corn Flakes earlier, while you were orgasming, I'm like... Wait a minute. According to John Harvey Kellogg.

42:47 Oh, my God. Fact. According to John Harvey Kellogg, you should have been completely turned off. Oh, my God. Well, clearly they don't work then, do they, Kelloggs? Oi, John fucking cunty Kellogg. Fuck off. Fucking hell. Rice Krispies all the way for me now. Fucking right. Love a good quiz. But, yeah, well, genuinely did not know we could talk that much about. Oh, my God. Right? None of us talked about it for so long, so many years. Now it's just like... Exactly. Open the masturbation floodgates. Yes. Well, wait. Off the top of your head, what audio is a guaranteed finisher for you? Oh, fuck you. Well, guaranteed finisher once or more than once?

43:33 Try to surprise our clitizens. I tried to go off script. I can't go off script because it's all BDSM. Sorry. Anything. Generally anything that involves a professor and student. Oh, okay. I love that. I'm like that too. So a big shout out to Noble, Zach Kalman, Nordeo, Orcus, and anybody else who's touched on... Touched on? Anybody else who has attempted a very good professor dominating a student? I can't go off script either, but mine's also a professor one, so that's why I'm all excited. But mine is drawn closer by AJ, where he's an art professor. Sorry, folks.

44:17 One last thing from me today. There's no room for censorship here, okay? You all need to understand that every part of the body deserves the same attention, the same care. Learn from her mistakes. You. Stay behind, please. What about yours, Kazza? What about you? I mean, it's going to be anyone and not any fun. Any audio. I mean, you asked us to go off script. You can't. I know. Well, and anytime Sarah is Dom. Okay. She's so good at fucking Dom. You're going to take my fingers. Don't gag. I want you to take them all the way in. You sick little bitch.

45:01 Yeah, so I'll go through her catalog and I'll look for that tag. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Oh, my God. She's amazing. I think, isn't her tagline on Quinn, my pronouns are mommy, daddy? I fucking love that. I'm pretty sure. So I'm like, yes, I'm going to listen right now. Yeah. She's going to be coming on the podcast soon. I can't wait. I'm so excited. Yes. Yes. What an exciting episode. I mean. The ins and outs of masturbation. Or the flicking and the rubbing. Oh, my God. Thanks, clitizens, for listening to another episode of Quincast. We hope you enjoyed the masturbation conversation. The erection selection of the masturbation conversation. The masturbation conversation. And please do send us a message and with some confessions of your own since we shared so much in this episode.

45:57 What do you mean we? Please help. We all did. Listen, we're not all fucking the KFC floor. Hurry up because I need to go and take a shit. Ooh, smudge is horny. All right, Clintusons, thanks for listening so much. We'll be back with you again with another great episode. For now, this has been Kazza. Your voice matters. This has been Jules. Go put those lips to good use. And this has been Smudge. Keep masturbating.